Thank You

Image courtesy: Staff Sgt. Joseph Swafford

The sight of a fallen hero's flag-draped casket returning to American soil. The sound of a grieving loved one's anguish. The indelible memory of meeting a young man or woman who lost one or more limbs on the battlefield.

Since February 2011, when my first newspaper column was released, these devastating moments have echoed through every facet of my life. The last three and a half years have been difficult and emotional, but what I've endured is nothing compared to what a U.S. service member, veteran or military family sacrifices on a daily basis.

The Americans I've met and spoken to while writing this weekly column are some of the most extraordinary people on the planet. They are brave, selfless, and strong. They are husbands, wives, dads, moms, brothers and sisters. They are, without a doubt, the best our nation can offer to a troubled world that is in dire need of America's leadership and compassion.

Even though I had worked at CNN and blogged about the military before launching this column, I came into this effort with little understanding of the Armed Forces. I knew our troops were courageous, but didn't realize just how much is required of service members and their families. I knew that families of the fallen suffered, but failed to grasp that for them, the war will never end.

I knew that many combat veterans came home from war with harrowing memories, but didn't have a handle on what witnessing the evil of America's enemies could do to a young man or woman. I knew that suicide in the military was a problem, but couldn't have possibly understood its gravity before speaking to family members suffering from the permanent grief and confusion of a loved one taking their own life.

In short, I knew almost nothing about military life. I started writing the column because I thought that millions of Americans probably felt the same way: They respected our Armed Forces, but didn't fully comprehend the depth of the military community's sacrifice.

Image courtesy: Cpl. Reece Lodder

Less than 1 percent of Americans serve in uniform. While many of my relatives served in previous wars, I only knew one person who had deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan before I started interviewing troops and veterans. My guess is that many people reading this column have a similar connection, or lack thereof, to the America's post-9/11 conflicts.

It is absolutely critical that every single one of us makes a concerted effort to learn more about the men and women who protect us. We can't help solve the many challenges that our heroes face if we have no understanding of their sacrifices.

Whether it's been a story about a fallen hero, veteran or service member, I hope this column has given you a better appreciation of this new Greatest Generation, as some now rightfully refer to our nation's volunteer warriors. For me, the way I look at our military will never be the same. Our men and women in uniform are even more heroic than I thought they were.

My daughter is 3 years old. Someday, I will ask her to read the stories of the men and women who stepped forward to defend our nation after it was attacked. Rather than trying to follow in the footsteps of so-called celebrities, I hope she will grow up wanting to be like our nation's real stars: those who are willing to fight for freedom.

A new career opportunity is forcing me to end this column. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to Creators Syndicate and my editor, Simone Slykhous, for your graciousness and guidance. Thank you to each newspaper for running these weekly stories, and to you for reading them.

Most of all, thank you to the troops, veterans and military families who trusted me to help tell your incredible stories. I am in awe of your kindness, integrity, and valor.

I conclude this journey with a quote from "Brothers Forever," which I co-authored with the father of a fallen Marine. The short passage was written to describe thousands of headstones at Arlington National Cemetery, where so many American heroes rest.

"There is no inscription to define the meaning of their sacrifice. That mission is ours."

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Image courtesy: Matthew Sileo Photography

Landon's Mom and Dad

Image courtesy: Marcia Truitt/Inara Studios

The first time I spoke to Crissie Carpenter, she had just suffered an unimaginable tragedy. Days earlier, her husband had passed away after being wounded in Afghanistan, all while she was eight months pregnant with their first child.

Lance Cpl. Andrew Carpenter wanted nothing more than to get to know his son, Landon, when he returned from Afghanistan. While an enemy sniper robbed Andrew of that chance, the Marine's widow immediately resolved that Landon's father would always be in their son's life.

"I want Landon to grow up knowing who his daddy is," Crissie told me in March 2011.

Images courtesy: Crissie Carpenter

Three and a half years later, Crissie still endures pain, anxiety, and the challenges of being a single mom.

"Some people will say that the more time goes by, the easier it gets," she told me on Sept. 4. "That's not necessarily true ... at least for me it's not."

Despite her constant grief, Crissie's focus remains singular. All of her remarkable strength and energy goes toward Landon, who is now 3.

"I'm just so proud of him," the young mother and widow said.

I attended Lance Cpl. Carpenter's memorial service on Feb. 28, 2011 in Columbia, Tennessee. The sight of his open casket is burned into my memory, as is the devastation on the face of his pregnant wife. Yet throughout this horrific ordeal, which started when her husband was shot in the neck on Valentine's Day, Crissie has embodied the military community's incredible courage.

"I finished my bachelor's (degree) last December, and am now in a graduate program for social work," she said. "So I feel like maybe God is just keeping us on path."

Equally inspiring is her bond with Landon, which continues to blossom.

"As far as where we are today compared to where we were then, I feel like we've both grown in a sense that we're close," Crissie said. "We definitely have a cool relationship."

Still, the little boy has "had a long road," as his mother explained. Landon's journey helps contradict one of the biggest misperceptions about war: that a given conflict is over once troops come home. For many veterans, families of the fallen, and particularly children afflicted by war, America's post-9/11 conflicts will last the rest of their lives.

"It's amazing how many questions a 3-year-old can have," Crissie said. "I didn't expect that to happen so fast."

After Crissie gave a speech at an event hosted by Folds of Honor, which awarded her a scholarship for school, Landon had a particularly difficult question.

"He asked, 'Mommy, was my daddy shot by a gun when he died?'" Crissie recounted. "That sounds like such a grown-up question by a 3-year-old. I just kind of sat there and I didn't know what to say."

After collecting her thoughts, Crissie drew a comparison to the story of Batman, which her husband always revered.

"So now (Landon) relates his dad to a superhero, protecting us from the bad guys," she said.

Still, the questions about the circumstances of his father's death keep coming.

"I had to explain to Landon, that we want to remember daddy happy," Crissie said. "It amazes me what a 3-year-old can think about."

It amazes me how tough a 3-year-old can be. But when one considers the characteristics of his parents, maybe the little boy's tenacity isn't so shocking.

"Every day he surprises me with different things that remind of his daddy," Landon's mom said.

Crissie is also thankful for the outpouring of support she's received since the day her husband was shot.

"Everything that everyone has done has been an incredible blessing for us, and continues to be," she said.

Lance Cpl. Andrew Carpenter, 27, died on Feb. 19, 2011. Yet more than three years later, the fallen Marine, along with his wife and son, set an example that all of us can follow.

"I'm not always the best mom in the world," Crissie Carpenter said.

Yes, Crissie, you are.

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER is available now. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

The Porch Light

Image courtesy: U.S. Army

When 6-year-old Darren Baysore looks up into the night sky, he thinks of his dad.

"They were all about the stars and 'I love you to the moon and back,'" said Darren's mom, Jamie Baysore, wife of U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Thomas Baysore Jr.

Less than a year ago, Darren's father made the ultimate sacrifice while serving in Afghanistan. While the loss of a loved one is crushing for any military family member, the impact on a child is immeasurable.

"At first he was OK because he didn't really understand," said Jamie, while adding that war's painful reality is starting to set in.

Jamie, 31, met Thomas in 2006 through MySpace.

"He drove two hours to take me on our first date," she said with a chuckle. "His eyes were gorgeous."

In October 2007, Jamie exchanged vows with a soldier who embodied the very best qualities of a good husband.

"He was driven," she said. "He had everything together and he was all about family values."

Stationed on the Kentucky-Tennessee border at Fort Campbell, Staff Sgt. Baysore had already completed respective deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq before being called upon to serve a third combat tour. Under the evening sky, Thomas said goodbye to his wife and son just as the summer of 2013 began.

Not long after arriving in Afghanistan, the soldier told his wife that his unit faced serious challenges on a still-volatile battlefield.

"He said this deployment was worse than the one he went on after 9/11," Jamie recounted.

On Aug. 1, 2013, Thomas received word that several Afghan civilians had been injured in an improvised explosive device attack. The soldier recounted the day's events in his journal, which Jamie subsequently released to the media. The Standard-Journal in Thomas' hometown of Milton, Pa., reprinted the entry.

"The gentleman informs me that there is only one person injured, a girl about 9 years old," Staff Sgt. Baysore wrote. "She is laying in the back of one the vehicles. So, again I push the locals away for my own security and start to look at the girl.

"I saw that her face is somewhat messed up, a lot of blood, but no missing facial features (which is good)," he continued. "However, her right eye looks bad, damaged in some way. I asked if I can look her over being that she is a female and a little girl."

After receiving permission, Thomas began looking for injuries.

"I start checking the parts I can see, since they have her covered by some blankets," the soldier wrote. "Her legs were bloodied but I don't see anything major yet. I asked the local what other injuries she has. He told me her arm is gone. I said what do you mean 'gone.' I asked if it was recent or something that happened a while ago. He told me it was the IED. That's when they moved the blanket. Her right hand and part of her arm was gone."

Thomas sprung to action, finding more wounds to her thigh and working with medics to tie tourniquets. He asked his superiors to authorize a medevac flight for the girl, and agonized as the request went up the chain of command.

"I am literally staring this girl in the one eye that still is working, waiting for her to die in my arms," he wrote.

The helicopter arrived, and the little girl survived. Thomas saved her life.

"I'm glad you are my friend and I'm glad you were strong enough to fight for your life," Thomas wrote to the girl in his journal.

On Sept. 26, 2013, Staff Sgt. Thomas Baysore Jr., 31, was killed in Afghanistan's Paktya Province by "an enemy combatant wearing an Afghan National Army uniform," according to a news release.

"I remember falling in front of the door and my son asking what was wrong," Jamie said.

As Darren marks one year since the passing of his dad, an American hero who saved the life of an Afghan child, he has one deeply moving request.

"On (September) 26 we're asking everyone at Fort Campbell and everywhere else to leave a porch light on," Jamie Baysore said. "(Darren said) if you leave your light on, that dad can see that he's sending his love."

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER is available now. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

Their Names

Images courtesy: U.S. Army

When I asked the nation's newest Medal of Honor recipient why he enlisted less than two years after 9/11, his answer was unequivocal.

"I had always wanted to serve from the time I was very young," former U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Ryan Pitts said.

As a 17-year-old high school student in Nashua, New Hampshire, the future war hero volunteered for the Army as one conflict raged in Afghanistan and another was about to erupt in Iraq.

"It had drifted from my mind somewhat in high school as I just focused on being a teenage boy," Pitts admitted. "But as my senior year drew to a close and I started thinking about what I wanted to do with my future ... I just thought what better way to spend my time than serving my country."

As Pitts spoke during a July 22 media roundtable, I tried to imagine the whirlwind that this 28-year-old veteran was experiencing. Less than 24 hours earlier, the president had placed the Medal of Honor around his neck at the White House. By coincidence, July 21 also marked the second wedding anniversary for Ryan and his wife, Amy.

"I'm taking it one day at a time," Pitts said.

Pitts simultaneously made clear that to him, the ceremonies and pageantry associated with the nation's highest military award were not about celebrating his achievements.

"It's been great this week — at this event — to have all the Gold Star families come in," he said.

"To have the president recognize them, and to be able to talk to all of them, and for them to be able to talk to the people who knew their soldiers. That's really the story of this week."

Nine U.S. paratroopers were killed in the July 13, 2008, Battle of Wanat, which Staff Sgt. Pitts survived. He knew the fallen soldiers, served alongside them, and still mourns them.

"I think about it every day," the Afghanistan war veteran said.

At every turn during the 45-minute discussion, Pitts shifted attention back to his fallen brothers.

"I was there, and I saw some of these guys do what they did, and it's still unbelievable to me," the Medal of Honor recipient said. "It's been uncomfortable being highlighted and recognized."

As President Obama explained at the previous day's White House ceremony, the courage displayed by Pitts and his teammates — while taking fire from 200 insurgents — is astounding.

"The enemy was so close, Ryan could hear their voices," the president said. "He whispered into the radio (that) he was the only one left and was running out of ammo. 'I was going to die,' he remembers, 'and made my peace with it.'

"And then he prepared to make a last stand," President Obama continued. "Bleeding and barely conscious, Ryan threw his last grenades. He grabbed a grenade launcher and fired nearly straight up, so the grenade came back down on the enemy just yards away. One insurgent was now right on top of the post, shooting down until another team of Americans showed up and drove him back. As one his teammates said, had it not been for Ryan Pitts, that post 'almost certainly would have been overrun.'"

Pitts, who credited the preparation of his fellow paratroopers for saving lives, also acknowledged that despite his reluctance in accepting an award, he has a unique opportunity to speak on behalf of his fallen Army brothers.

"I absolutely feel a responsibility," he said. "First, to the guys ... the guys who didn't come home ... the guys who can't tell their story."

While his wife, young son and post-military career are huge priorities, Pitts is equally committed to saluting this generation of heroes.

"This is a brotherhood that we've all been a part of," he said. "We think it's incredibly important to remember the guys who didn't make it home, and we're using this time to say their names as much as we can."

Their names are 1st Lt. Jonathan Brostrom, Sgt. Israel Garcia, Cpl. Jonathan Ayers, Cpl. Jason Bogar, Cpl. Jason Hovater, Cpl. Matthew Phillips, Cpl. Pruitt Rainey, Cpl. Gunnar Zwilling and Spc. Sergio Abad.

The name of another American hero, who is dedicating his Medal of Honor to sharing their stories of sacrifice, is Staff Sgt. Ryan Pitts.

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER is available now. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

To Serve

Images courtesy: Margy Agar

It took a long time for Margy Agar to say the word "suicide" after her daughter, U.S. Army Sgt. Kimberly Agar, took her own life. Today, spreading awareness is her greatest passion.

"My number one mission is for people to learn that (people) don't commit suicide," Margy told me. "They die from it."

While the grieving Texas mother still struggles with unanswered questions about how her "energetic" and "vivacious" daughter's life descended into hopelessness and tragedy, Margy traces Kimberly's death to Oct. 7, 2007: the day she was injured by an improvised explosive device in Iraq.

Sergeant Agar didn't tell her mom she had been hurt until she returned from the battlefield in December 2008. It would take another two years for Kimberly to reveal specific details about the attack.

"She called me from Germany and told me about the IED," Margy said. "I knew she was keeping it hidden."

Kimberly was never known for hiding her emotions while growing up in the Dallas-Fort Worth suburbs. In fact, her zest for life was almost always on display at frequent singing performances and beauty pageants.

"She started singing in her room when she was about 3," Kimberly's mother said. "She sang at nursing homes and assisted living facilities ... just celebrating her God-given talent with people who needed music in their lives."

There was one song Kimberly enjoyed singing most.

"She was very patriotic," Margy said. "Her favorite song was the National Anthem."

As she sang all around the Lone Star State, including at Texas Rangers games, Kimberly clung to three goals she had set for herself during childhood.

"To sing, to see the world and to serve," her mom said.

In October 2006, Kimberly surprised her mother by joining the Army.

"It came out of left field for me ... she never talked about it, ever," said Margy, who had watched her oldest son join the military a few months earlier. "I was devastated, basically, but at the same time, proud."

Without much time to adjust, Margy's daughter was suddenly part of the 2007 U.S. troop surge in Iraq.

"They were there for 15 months and they were constantly (dealing with) IED after IED and ambush after ambush," Kimberly's mother said.

Years later, Margy would learn that Kimberly — under the enormous stress of combat — had been cutting herself in Iraq. But when Kimberly came home from the deployment, Margy saw no significant warning signs of depression beyond some rowdy, alcohol-fueled behavior.

"I didn't see it at all as a way of coping," the soldier's mother said. "It surely could have been, but I also knew her. She was a very social person."

Kimberly was stationed in Germany as part of the U.S. Army Europe Band and Chorus on July 4, 2011. That's when Margy realized something was wrong.

"After the 4th it was like night and day," she said.

Two months and two days later, Margy said that her daughter — under the influence of alcohol and pills — slashed her wrists. During her 11-day hospital stay, Kimberly displayed more erratic behavior when she yelled at her mom during one of their last phone conversations.

"She never yelled at me," Margy said about Kimberly's usual demeanor.

Kimberly, 25, was scheduled to return from Germany that Christmas. Margy was busy planning a welcome home party when her phone rang on Oct. 3, 2011. Two soldiers were waiting at her door.

Margy, too panicked to drive, was taken home by police to receive the dreadful news of Kimberly's death.

"They told me," Margy said. "I screamed, collapsed and pounded the wall."

Margy's confusion, anger, and frustration were immediately channeled into sharing Kimberly's story, both inside and outside the military community.

"You die of sadness; you die from depression," she said. "That's what I'm trying to get out there."

Margy believes the traumatic brain injury Kimberly suffered during the explosion in Iraq permanently changed her daughter.

"TBI is not a mental illness," Kimberly's mom said. "It's a physical wound."

Despite the way Sgt. Kimberly Agar's life ended, her mother will always be proud of her. After all, she had accomplished her three goals: singing, seeing the world and serving others.

"I'm constantly amazed by her courage," Margy Agar said.

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER is available now. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

The Heart Still Beats

Images courtesy: Jill Stephenson

When future U.S. Army Cpl. Ben Kopp was just 8 years old, his heart was set on following in his great-grandfather's footsteps.

"He would tell people he was going to grow up and go into the Army," Cpl. Kopp's mother, Jill Stephenson, told me.

It took Ben's great-grandpa — a World War II veteran — to help the young boy understand the true meaning of service.

"You don't join the Army because someone else did it," said Ben's hero and role model, Leroy Rogers. "You do it because it's something you want to do."

Ben was devastated when his great-grandfather died in April 2001. Five months later, when flames rose from the World Trade Center, Pentagon, and a rural Pennsylvania field, the Minnesota teenager's grief turned to rage.

"He considered the terrorist attack on America — killing innocent people — a mockery of his great grandfather's service to our country," Ben's mom said. "He made a pledge to become an Army Ranger."

Jill's son kept his word. By 2007, he was a Ranger serving in Iraq.

"When 9/11 happened, there was no doubt in my mind that Ben would fulfill that manifest destiny, if you will," she said.

After two deployments during one of the Iraq war's most violent chapters, the young Ranger's passion for his country was even stronger.

"What he saw over there ... it made him appreciate what it was to be an American," Jill said.

Ben left for Afghanistan in May 2009. While the Rosemount, Minnesota, native had been known for his tenacity since childhood, embarking on his third combat deployment at age 21 was a burden that very few young Americans are asked to shoulder.

"He knew going into Afghanistan was going to be a completely different experience than going into Iraq," the Ranger's mother explained. "They were going into a hot zone where nobody had been for quite some time."

Indeed, when the soldier and his mom spoke that July, he confirmed that Afghanistan's Helmand province was as close as it came to hell on earth.

"He said it was as bad as (fellow Rangers) had warned him about," Jill said.

On July 10, 2009, Jill received a shocking phone call. Ben had been wounded in Afghanistan, undergone surgery and hadn't regained consciousness.

"The days that went by — the next three days before I went to Walter Reed — were probably the most difficult days of my life," Ben's mom said. "I didn't know the true condition of things."

Ben, who was shot while helping save the lives of six fellow Rangers pinned down by a Taliban sniper, arrived at Walter Reed on July 14. The next morning, doctors told Jill that her son might be brain dead.

"There was a concern because he had a cardiac arrest when he was recovering from his surgery," Jill explained. "They revived him, but he never woke up."

On July 18, 2009, every military mom's worst nightmare became Jill's reality. A test confirmed that no blood was flowing to her son's brain. At the same time, doctors were busy trying to preserve the dying hero's organs, which Ben had designated for donation if he was ever killed in action.

"There was some doubt — actually considerable doubt — about whether they could use his heart," Ben's mother said. "But we have to keep in mind that he was a 21-year-old Army Ranger. He was in really great physical condition."

As the tragic events unfolded at Walter Reed, Jill learned that one of her cousin's friends was in need of a heart transplant. In what can only be described as a miracle, Ben's heart was subsequently identified as a perfect match.

"I had this incredible joy and this incredible sorrow at the same point," Jill said. "It was so special to know that his heart would save someone else's life.

Corporal Ben Kopp is buried at Arlington National Cemetery. His heart is inside Judy Meikle, 62, who lives in Chicago.

Jill Stephenson and Judy Meikle

"She will celebrate five years with Ben's heart (this July)," Jill said. "He also saved three other lives with his kidneys and his liver."

Five years after a selfless warrior's final acts of courage, Ben's heart still beats.

"He saved so many lives," his mother said.

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER is available now. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

Defining Valor

Image courtesy: International Security Assistance Force

I could see fire in the eyes of retired U.S. Marine Gen. John Allen shortly after someone at a recent Washington forum told the former commander of U.S. forces in Afghanistan that al-Qaida has "demonstrated a great deal of valor" since 9/11.

"I don't see any valor in al-Qaida," Gen. Allen said in response to the audience member. "My first real experience with the horrific dimension of al-Qaida was the day they cut the heads off of four children going to school because they were the children of a sheikh.

"I see no valor in that," Allen, who also commanded U.S. Marines in Iraq's most violent province, continued. "And I eventually deserve the right to define valor the way I want to define it, and not how other people would like to create a relativistic view of valor."

Allen has led thousands of brave men and women into battle, and clearly agonizes for every brave American killed or wounded in Afghanistan and Iraq. Nevertheless, he was calm and respectful while answering the questioner, who also told the accomplished military leader that "you have to admire the way [al-Qaida] fought your people."

After Allen named several terrorist organizations that he and forces under his command fought on foreign soil, he reminded the audience member that each group has "killed far more civilians in Afghanistan than they ever killed of Afghan National Security forces or my own forces."

"So I see no valor in that," the general reiterated.

Image courtesy: Sgt. Steven J. DeLuzio Memorial Fund

As I looked into the general's eyes, I thought of a harrowing story relayed to me by the parents of U.S. Army Sgt. Steven DeLuzio, who was killed in Afghanistan on Aug. 22, 2010 at age 25. Before he left for his final deployment, Sgt. DeLuzio got a tattoo on his arm that bore the mysterious image of an Iraqi woman's shrouded face.

"The lady saved his life," Steven's dad, Mark DeLuzio, told me.

As Steven patrolled the treacherous city of Ramadi in 2006, the Iraqi woman told American forces about a bomb buried on a stretch of road they would soon encounter. Without the civilian's warning, Steven's Humvee would almost certainly have struck the enemy improvised explosive device.

A few days later, Steven and his unit returned to thank the Iraqi woman for her courageous act.

"Steven found the woman, her husband, and their kids all beheaded," Mark said.

That is one example of terrorist barbarism that I heard about while writing this syndicated column. Allen, who spent 12 years battling al-Qaida and the Taliban, witnessed terrible atrocities by the enemy on a daily basis.

Image courtesy: International Security Assistance Force

The May 22 American Enterprise Institute event was focused on the meaning of Memorial Day and "Brothers Forever," which I coauthored with retired Marine Col. Tom Manion. General Allen wrote a moving Foreword to our book, and offered another stirring, emotional reflection on the heroism of our military in person.

"At night in Afghanistan when I commanded there, I always wrote the letters home to the families of our dead at night," he said. "And I'd always take the time to go through the kid's record book to see when they were born.

"By the time I commanded the war in Afghanistan between 2011 and 2013, many of these kids were 9 or 10 years old when the war broke out," Allen continued. "And they still came ... nothing stopped them. They still came, and they still enlisted, and they still knew they were going to war, and they still came over. And they still fought for us, and they died for us."

Memorial Day weekend is over. Soon, the war in Afghanistan — according to politicians overseeing the U.S.-led effort — will be over, too.

As a significant chapter of American history comes to close, there are two sentiments that I hope will never cease. First: gratitude to the valiant men and women to serve our country in uniform, and second: disdain for the terrorists who started this war.

"To get to your point about whether we can coexist with al-Qaida: I hope not," Gen. John Allen said to his questioner. "I hope that al-Qaida has to wonder every night whether they'll wake up the next morning alive."

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM


(Note: Gen. Allen's remarks begin at 49:00)

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER is available now. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

Remember the Fourteenth

Images courtesy: Samantha Daehling

On the night of May 14, 2013, Samantha Daehling awoke to startling words from a friend who was staying at her house in Westford, Massachusetts.

"There are uniforms at the door," Samantha's friend said. "Go get the door."

When Samantha cracked the door open and peered outside, her heart sank.

"As soon as I saw the National Guard standing there, I knew right away," Samantha, 23, said.

On the fourteenth day of the previous June, Samantha had married U.S. Army Spc. Mitchell Daehling. It was the happiest day of her young life.

"I looked up and saw Mitch standing there," Samantha said. "Mitch laughed and said I'd never looked prettier."

The couple originally met in Nashua, New Hampshire, while Mitch was attending Daniel Webster College. Even though neither forgot meeting the other, Mitch and Samantha didn't see each other again until two years later.

"I kind of laughed with him, and then after that, we just kind of became one," Samantha said.

The couple started dating on Dec. 14, 2008. From the beginning, Samantha loved her future husband's defining traits.

"Mitch was very bold, competitive and strong-willed," she said.

Mitch had wanted to join the military from a young age, but promised family members that he would get his college degree first. After the death of his grandfather, who had lost both his legs while serving overseas before Mitch was born, he decided to follow his selfless example.

"After what happened with Grandpa Ken, he knew he had to join the military," Samantha said. "He felt like he just had to do it."

Mitch's next decision would initially break Samantha's heart.

"Mitch said he didn't want to see me anymore," she said. "I was shocked by it."

The future soldier loved his girlfriend so much that he didn't want her to endure the rigors of military life.

"He told me later that was why he broke up with me ... because he didn't want me to go through what his grandmother did," Samantha explained. "If he came back without legs, or not at all, he didn't want me to go through it."

Just before Mitch started basic training, he visited Samantha at her parents' house.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he said.

"Let's do this," Samantha responded.

Samantha and Mitch got engaged on March 14, 2011. In the years ahead, the couple would only be separated by geography when Mitch's job required it. He trained at Georgia's Fort Benning and was stationed at Texas' Fort Bliss before learning that he would deploy to Afghanistan in December 2012, just six months after he and Samantha were married.

Before Mitch went to war, he had an unimaginably painful conversation about Afghanistan with his worried bride.

"I need to be the first man to jump in ... the first man to help," the soldier told his wife. "And I don't think I'm coming back."

During a Skype conversation on May 12, 2013, Mitch told Samantha that he'd been given an even bigger role on his combat team.

"As soon as he got promoted to team leader, I knew he wasn't coming back," she said.

When she answered the door two days later, Samantha's worst fears were realized.

"It didn't feel real," she emotionally recounted. "I kept waiting to wake up from a nightmare."

According to the Pentagon, Spc. Mitchell Daehling, 24, was killed in a May 14, 2013 improvised explosive device attack that also killed Sgt. 1st Class Jeffrey Baker, 29, Spc. William Gilbert, 24, and Pfc. Cody Towse, 21.

Less than a month after the Boston Marathon bombings, the same spirit of togetherness that was famously displayed by New Englanders quickly surrounded Samantha and her loved ones.

"My front yard (was) filled with people," she recalled. "Friends drove from all over ... cards (were) all over."

For many of us, the fourteenth of each month is just another date on the calendar. For Samantha Daehling, it is a reminder of the days she met, got engaged and married the man she loves.

"The fourteenth is not a day for me to be lying in bed crying," she said. "The fourteenth — and every day of the year — is a day for me to live for him."

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER is available now. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

Remember the 'Unselfie'

Image courtesy: Cpl. Dustin March

Before leaving for his fifth deployment to Iraq, Master Sgt. Robert Horrigan, who had been planning to retire from the U.S. Army, told his commanding officer that "if you're going, I'm going with you."

Master Sgt. Horrigan, 40, wound up making the ultimate sacrifice during that deployment.

After Staff Sgt. Travis Mills lost his arms and legs in Afghanistan, he lay in his hospital bed worrying about his fellow soldiers still in harm's way. Every day, he would have his wife send messages to his Army brothers to make sure they were safe.

Staff Sgt. Mills, now 27, has since become a nationally recognizable face of America's wounded warriors.

When 1st Lt. Travis Manion was asked why he had to return a second time to the hellish streets of Fallujah, Iraq, he told his brother-in-law that if he didn't go, a Marine with less experience would be sent in his place.

"If not me, then who... " 1st Lt. Manion, 26, said five months before he was killed in action.

Our nation is consumed with the selfie, which dominates social media and has been embraced by many media figures, celebrities and even some prominent politicians. While there is nothing wrong with posting fun pictures, the selfie fad underscores an increase tendency to celebrate ourselves.

In this column space, you read about heroes like Horrigan, Mills and Manion, who placed service above self while asking for nothing in return. These brave men and women do not seek the spotlight, and in many cases, are uncomfortable if the spotlight finds them.

While many television stations, newspapers and websites focus on the selfie, this column is a place to read about the "unselfie" — an act of unselfishness. In my mind, these are the moments that should also saturate social media, especially when it comes to the Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts of national leaders.

Master Sgt. Jennifer Loredo was serving in Afghanistan when her husband, Staff Sgt. Eddie Loredo, 34, was killed in a different part of the country. When I spoke with Master Sgt. Loredo, the 37-year-old soldier was leading the Army's Master Resilience Training program to help other military families cope with tragedy.

Nobody would have looked down on Jennifer if she left the military to grieve her husband and focus solely on caring for their children. Instead, she put others above herself.

"I wanted to make (Eddie) proud and my kids proud, too," she said.

First Lt. Tom Martin's first application to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point was rejected. He joined the Army anyway and eventually gained acceptance to the storied institution.

"He had a true conviction for what was right," his mother, Candy Martin, said.

The respected Army officer could have done anything he wanted with his life before he was killed in action at age 27. Instead of believing that responding to 9/11 was someone else's job, 1st Lt. Martin took it upon himself to protect America.

"I gotta go rid the world of evil," he often said.

Sgt. Devin Snyder was a popular, athletic high school track star who loved the color pink. But when high school was over, she enlisted in the Army.

"She was very strong-willed," Sgt. Snyder's father, Ed, told me. "She knew what she wanted."

Devin was devastated when she saw fellow soldiers injured in an enemy roadside bomb attack in Afghanistan. But while agonizing for her wounded friends, she enthusiastically suited up for another mission, during which she was killed at age 20.

After Devin made the ultimate sacrifice, friends painted an American flag with her smiling face on a rock in Upstate New York. Soon after a local fraternity was criticized for painting over the memorial, it issued a statement.

"In a brief moment of self-gratification, we thought of no one else but ourselves, and for that we were wrong," the statement, printed by Time Warner Cable News Rochester, read in part.

The fraternity's epiphany is instructive, because the frequency of Americans placing self above all else is too often. Whenever I'm guilty of becoming consumed with my own interests, my weekly conversations with these heroes and their families serve as dramatic wake-up calls.

The selfie is fun. The "unselfie" is what truly matters.

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and co-author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER will be released in May. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

Real Life Heroes

Image courtesy: Char Fontan Westfall

For me, the most moving part of "Lone Survivor," Peter Berg's film based on real events in Afghanistan, comes just before the final credits. As Peter Gabriel's cover of the classic David Bowie song "Heroes" plays, we see photos of not only the real life heroes of the Operation Red Wings mission, but many of their loved ones.

I was particularly touched by the picture of U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Jacques Fontan and his wife, Char. Last year, I spoke with this courageous Navy SEAL widow about her fallen husband and his towering legacy.

"People say 'do you think he would have still gone if he knew he wasn't coming back?'" Char said. "And I say he would have."

Eight years after her husband was among those killed trying to rescue four fellow Navy SEALs cornered during the June 28, 2005 battle that is so grippingly portrayed in the movie, Char perfectly summarized the selfless mindset of our country's military community. Since 9/11, less than one percent of our population has carried almost impossible burdens to shield 99 percent of us from having to join the fight.

Some reviews of "Lone Survivor," which opened in the top spot of the North American box office, have accused the film of being a "jingoistic" oversimplification of the war in Afghanistan. The trepidation coming from certain media precincts is predictable, as some journalists are uncomfortable with the age-old concept of good and evil.

The simple truth, with rare exceptions that are usually splashed all over television and computer screens, is that our brave men and women in uniform are good, while members of al-Qaida and the Taliban are bad. In no way does that view advocate, as one reviewer inaccurately and disgracefully suggested, that the movie portrays all non-Americans as enemies. In fact, two of the film's heroes are an Afghan father and son who put their lives at risk.

Having read the book of the same name, written by Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL) Marcus Luttrell and Patrick Robinson, the ultimate purpose of "Lone Survivor" is to salute America's armed forces and the bold Afghans and Iraqis who have joined the fight against those who terrorize the innocent. One does not have to support either war — or the two U.S. presidents to oversee them — to appreciate the valor of patriots who are willing to sacrifice everything.

The Basic Underwater Demolition (BUD/S) training footage at the beginning of the film is real, and helps illuminate the seemingly impossible obstacles that young Americans must overcome to become Navy SEALs. Having recently visited the Coronado, Calif., compound where hundreds of aspiring warriors tackle BUD/S training with uncommon determination and endless grit, my respect for this noble, tight-knit community is unlimited.

The film's four key actors — Mark Wahlberg (who plays Luttrell), Taylor Kitsch (LT Michael Murphy), Emile Hirsch (Petty Officer 2nd Class Danny Dietz) and Ben Foster (Petty Officer 2nd Class Matthew Axelson) — do an admirable job of portraying SEALs who were not only authentic superheroes, but also men with families and dreams that went beyond military life. While I am often critical of a Hollywood culture that frequently celebrates itself instead of those who make their luxurious lives possible, it is refreshing to see the strong-willed commitment of these artists and their colleagues. They have brought honor to a profession that needs more of it.

I have spoken with too many brave service members, veterans and families of fallen heroes to conclude that "Lone Survivor" is the only story from the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq that deserves a place on the big screen. A documentary called "Murph: The Protector," which portrays the valor of LT (SEAL) Michael Murphy — the Medal of Honor recipient portrayed in "Lone Survivor" — is another film that every American should see.

In "Lone Survivor," the tragic incident that took the lives of Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Jacques Fontan and his fellow rescuers serves as a key moment. Instead of viewing the sequence like any other special effects-laden movie scene, I hope filmgoers realize that the sacrifices of our military community, which continue to this day, are not being made in some fictional universe. They are real.

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER will be released in May. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

Max and Fenji

Images courtesy: Gunnery Sgt. Chris Willingham

Moments after terrorists set off an improvised explosive device in southern Afghanistan on Aug. 4, 2010, a Marine and his dog clung to life.

"Max's wounds were inexplicable," Julie Schrock said about her son. "(The surgeons) had seen soldiers with far less severe wounds who have died, but he just wouldn't quit."

U.S. Marine Cpl. Max Donahue had already lost both of his legs and would later have his right arm amputated. In addition to wounding another member of his unit, the remotely detonated blast wounded the 23-year-old Marine's trusted military working dog, Fenji.

"Fenji was a new dog, and this was her first deployment," Julie told The Unknown Soldiers. "Max was her first handler, so he worked with her a lot."

In Afghanistan, Max had developed a reputation for shielding those around him. He displayed the same trait as a young boy growing up in the Denver suburb of Lone Tree, Colo.

"He was very protective," Max's mother said. "For many years, I was a single mom, so he, his younger brother and I were a very tight unit."

When al-Qaida attacked the United States on Sept. 11, 2001, Max — like so many volunteer warriors of his generation — became a "fighter" who was determined to defend his country from future attacks.

"I was driving him home from school, and he said, 'You know, Mom, I should be signing up,'" Julie said. "And I said, 'As an American woman, that makes me proud, but as a mom, it makes me scared.'"

Image courtesy: U.S. Marine Corps

A month after his 19th birthday, Max was headed for boot camp.

"His sweet soul didn't change, but his body was definitely different," Julie said. "He also became much more organized and clean ... when he became a Marine; he followed the code."

When her son deployed to Iraq in 2008, Julie agonized over the possibility that Marines would one day inform her that Max wasn't coming home alive.

"I was very fearful," she said. "I realized that when Max joined the Marines, the whole family joined."

One of Julie's most treasured memories was being surprised by Max after he secretly drove to Denver after returning from Iraq.

"I walked into my office, shut the door, and there was Max," the Marine's mother said.

For the young Marine, it was a great source of fulfillment to become a dog handler and train dogs such as Fenji to search for IEDs that were harming coalition troops and civilians.

"He was very proud of it, and he was very good at it," Max's mom said. "One of his promotions was done meritoriously. ... It was expedited because of his accomplishments."

Soon after Max and Fenji left for Afghanistan on June 4, 2010, Julie quickly realized that the risks were even greater than his previous combat tour.

"He was out on a lot more patrols and a lot more dangerous patrols," she said. "In Iraq, they were looking for the weapons caches and the bad guys, and in Afghanistan, they were looking for the IEDs."

In the early hours of Aug. 4, 2010, Julie said her son informed his fellow Marines that he and his dog would be taking the lead on a dangerous mission.

"He wouldn't have wanted anyone else to take his place," she said.

After Fenji sniffed out four enemy IEDs, Max lay on his stomach and prepared for a possible firefight. It was then that a terrorist flipped a remote detonation switch.

Max died two days after suffering catastrophic wounds in the blast, according to his mom. Max's wounded teammate survived, as did his loyal dog.

"Fenji had eye damage and hearing damage, but she recovered and has since been deployed," the fallen Marine's mom said.

As Fenji continues searching for roadside bombs, a base in Afghanistan — Camp Donahue — has been named after the dog's fallen handler. The hero Marine's mom, who wrote a book called "Missing Max: Finding Hope After My Marine Son's Death," is also carrying on in honor of Cpl. Max Donahue.

"As a Gold Star mom, one thing that's very important to me is I do want people to remember," Julie Schrock said about the war in Afghanistan, "it's still going on."

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER will be released in May. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website.

A Soldier's Dog

Images courtesy: Team Blu Van Loo

During four deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, there was one constant for U.S. Army Sgt. Jason Van Loo. His loyal dog, Blu, was always at home with his wife and kids.

"He's been a big part of our family," said Sgt. Van Loo about his yellow Labrador retriever.

In December 2012, Jason was enduring his roughest combat tour since joining the military 13 years ago. After three deployments to Iraq, the soldier was dodging improvised explosive devices in Afghanistan with his Colorado-based unit.

"Everybody hears about Afghanistan and all the IEDs and stuff, and it pretty much lives up to that," Jason said. "It's the real deal over there."

On the deployment's first mission, Jason sensed something strange during a joint combat patrol.

"I thought I heard something and felt vibrations in the truck," he said. "Eventually, we figured out that no one could get a hold of the rear truck ... that's when we found out my buddy's truck had been hit."

Jason's buddy was Staff Sgt. Mark Schoonhoven, 38, of Plainwell, Mich. He suffered devastating injuries in the Dec. 15, 2012, enemy IED attack, and succumbed to his wounds on Jan. 20. Before Jason's deployment was over, four more teammates were killed in action, with another four wounded.

"We tried to get over our losses and keep our mission going," Jason, who was deeply affected by the tragedies, said.

In the early morning hours of July 3, Jason was the assistant gunner in his Army vehicle when his convoy encountered a road blocked by burning fuel tankers. As fellow soldiers tried to clear a path, there was a huge explosion.

"I don't recall a lot of it, but I do recall seeing black smoke and red and orange," Jason said.

His vehicle had been struck by an enemy rocket-propelled grenade, but miraculously, Jason and his entire patrol survived.

"I would say I had angels looking out for me and everyone else in the truck that day," he said.

As he dealt with the daily dangers of wartime service, Jason was shocked when his wife, Kari, informed him that their beloved dog, Blu, had been diagnosed with bone cancer. While some may have put the dog down, Kari was determined to ease Blu's pain and make sure the pet was reunited with her husband.

"It meant the world to me that my wife wouldn't take no for an answer," Jason said. "(Blu) was the one taking my spot while I was gone."

Blu's leg was amputated. The dog then started chemotherapy at Colorado State University, which Kari said "went above and beyond" to treat her sick pet. The community also rallied around the deployed soldier's wife and three kids to form "Team Blu Van Loo" and raise funds for the dog's expensive surgery and treatments.

"She just never gave up," Jason said about his wife. "She wanted to make sure Blu was there when I came home."

Sure enough, when Jason returned from his harrowing fourth deployment, Blu was waiting.

"I was so happy to see him," the soldier said. "I was so tired and exhausted, and he just knocked me over with his three legs and started licking me. It was awesome."

On Oct. 29 — Jason's 41st birthday — the medical staff at Colorado State University gave a hero's welcome to the soldier and his dog.

"That's what I wanted for my birthday," Jason said. "He had to get some blood tests and they had a big party for him."

Blu died just before Thanksgiving. While the soldier, his wife and their children are saddened by their pet's passing, Jason is forever grateful for the weeks he got to spend with the dog after coming home from Afghanistan.

"We donated all his organs to CSU so they can study and research (cancer)," Jason said. "Somebody paid it forward for me, so I want to pay it forward as well."

Sergeant Jason Van Loo has suffered great loss over the past year, but as he continues his Army career, he is determined to carry on with the memory of the fallen, including Blu, in his heart.

"He's still with us in spirit," Jason said.

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM


Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER will be released in May 2014. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website.

Hico's Hero

Images courtesy: Hico's Hero

You probably haven't heard of Hico, Texas. With a population of well under 2,000, the city's motto, "Where everybody is somebody," captures its all-American charm.

U.S. Marine Lance Cpl. Shawn Hefner may have lived in a small town, but his dreams were larger than life.

"He was always talking about being a Marine because his dad was a Marine," Shawn's mother, Robin Hefner, told The Unknown Soldiers. She added that her husband, Patrick, retired from the Marine Corps before Shawn was born.

For days at a time, young Shawn would camp alone on a mountain to develop survival skills. He also displayed the toughness needed to become a warrior.

At age 12, Shawn jumped on a wild mustang and rode bareback before falling and breaking his arm. That night, determined not to complain about his injury, he waited several agonizing hours before finally asking his parents for a ride to the hospital.

"He didn't want to ruin our evening," Robin said.

Shawn was 14 years old on Sept. 11, 2001. Like so many of this generation's volunteer warriors, he was deeply impacted by 9/11 and refused to let the terrorist attacks go unanswered.

"He kept saying that he had to go over there and take care of it ... that they had come onto our territory," Robin said. "He always wanted to be a Marine, but he had to be after that."

After graduating high school, one bad decision nearly put Shawn's dream out of reach. During a drunken night with friends, Shawn, who planned to spend a year at home in central Texas before enlisting, broke into a country club and stole several cases of beer. As Shawn initially hid from authorities seeking to arrest him, his mom told him it was time to "own" the mistake.

"He turned himself in, went straight to the judge, and told him he wanted to be a Marine," Robin said.

After working three jobs to pay restitution, Shawn, who was placed on one year's probation, was allowed to sign up for the Marine Corps. Less than a year later, Robin was shocked by the transformation of a boy whose immaturity had nearly taken his life off track.

"I was utterly amazed when we went to California for his graduation," she said. "I just thought, 'Oh, my God. He's a man.'"

In May 2009, Robin got another surprise when Shawn called to tell her he was deploying to Afghanistan.

"That's when I jumped on a plane because I had this overpowering urge to see him before he left," the Marine's mother said. "I had to go."

Five weeks later, the worried mom was gripped by panic and hysteria when she received a phone call saying her son had been injured on the battlefield. After six excruciating hours, Shawn was able to call home. While he suffered a concussion in an improvised explosive device attack, Shawn said, he felt fine.

"I broke down for three days," Robin said. "I just kept thinking, 'Oh, my God ... it could have been over.'"

On Nov. 13, 2009, the military mom was opening her front door to receive what she thought was a package with materials for a scrapbook she was making for Shawn.

"Then I saw three uniforms," Robin said. "I went running to the other side of the house."

Moments later, she was informed that Lance Cpl. Shawn Hefner, 22, died after stepping on an IED in Afghanistan's Helmand Province. The next day, the Marine and his unit had been scheduled to leave the war zone.

While the pain was unbearable for Robin, Patrick, and their two surviving children, Hico and other patriotic communities across Texas rallied around their hometown hero.

"It was extremely overwhelming and honoring, and just amazing, to see the impact he had," Robin said four years to the day after her son was buried.

Today, Shawn's mom runs a non-profit organization called "Hico's Hero," which creates special pins so mothers who've lost a child to war can proudly display photos of their son or daughter.

"I've never left my house without my pin," Robin Hefner said.

In this small Texas community, everybody is indeed somebody. But Lance Cpl. Shawn Hefner will always be Hico's hero.

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM


Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER will be released in May 2014. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website.

War Fatigue

Images courtesy: Lance Cpl. Zachery Martin

One of the biggest myths about the conflict in Afghanistan is that we're "tired" of it. Given that 99 percent of Americans have never fought in the war-torn land, the pundits have once again succeeded in getting the story wrong.

I haven't served in uniform. The closest I've been to war are in places like the hospital room of a courageous soldier who lost both legs in Afghanistan or in front of a brave young Marine's open casket.

Conducting an interview with a family member of a fallen hero is often heartbreaking. But whenever I start to feel emotionally drained, I think of America's real "one percent" — the valiant men and women who serve and sacrifice.

If anyone is suffering from "war fatigue," it is our nation's military community. None of us — particularly politicians and journalists — have any business claiming otherwise.

When it comes to those propagating the myth of a country that's "exhausted" from the military's post-9/11 battles, many of the same talking heads assure us that the war in Afghanistan is also winding down. If that's the case, someone forgot to tell Beth Strickland Funk, who lost her son there on Sept. 21.

"I fell to the ground and started crying before they started saying anything," Beth said of the moment she realized that her 23-year-old son, U.S. Army Sgt. Joshua "Jay" Strickland, was dead.

Like so many other members of America's community of protectors, Beth refuses to complain.

"This has just brought home to so many people that we still need to be praying and paying attention ... and praying for our soldiers and their families," she said.

Eight years ago, the war in Iraq saturated most television and computer screens. Those responsible for setting war policy were under siege, and to this day, there are still heated debates about the conflict's merits.

There is little debate about Afghanistan because so few are paying attention. Whenever I attend a sporting event or concert, I often wonder how many in the stadium — including those on the playing field or stage — even know a war is still being fought. My guess is that if I polled the audience, less than half would answer correctly.

Only a tiny fraction of our population has to deal with the possibility of being killed or maimed in battle. Unlike World War II or Vietnam, millions have no personal connection to the war being fought by their fellow citizens.

One young American making sacrifices on our behalf is Cpl. Geoffrey Scarborough. When I spoke to the Marine in August, he was documenting perilous U.S. combat patrols in southern Afghanistan, where so many coalition forces have fought and bled since 9/11.

"It's awesome," Cpl. Scarborough said about his dangerous job.

I wish every American could speak with 23-year-olds like Cpl. Scarborough. If more of us got to know the troops, veterans and military families in our own neighborhoods, it would be impossible for so many to turn away as a war unfolds.

If there's anything I'm tired of, it's asking people to care about a conflict that started after terrorists based in Afghanistan planned an attack on our country. While there is nothing wrong with a healthy debate about whether tens of thousands should still be in harm's way, there is no excuse for looking the other way.

When I spoke to Sonja Stoeckli six weeks after her son, U.S. Army Spc. Kyle Stoeckli, was killed by an enemy improvised explosive device, she said there was nothing more difficult than feeling isolated.

"Once all the crowds and events are over, that's when the real awareness and the real pain sets in," said Sonja, who lost her 21-year-old son on June 1.

No family member of a fallen hero should ever feel alone. Being an American is not about waving a flag or paying taxes; it is about standing shoulder-to-shoulder with those who keep our nation free.

Instead of nodding our heads when others assure us that we're tired, let's devote ourselves to honoring and remembering our country's true heroes and patriots. If there's one thing I'll never be tired of, it's learning more about their remarkable lives.

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM

Tom Sileo is a nationally syndicated columnist and author of BROTHERS FOREVER: The Enduring Bond Between a Marine and a Navy SEAL that Transcended Their Ultimate Sacrifice. Written with Col. Tom Manion (Ret.) and published by Da Capo Press, BROTHERS FOREVER will be released in May 2014. To find out more about Tom Sileo, or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website.