A Soldier's Heart

Images courtesy: Volker family

Ever since he was a boy growing up in West Texas, U.S. Army Spc. Robert "RJ" Volker wore his heart on his sleeve.

"He had a smile that was true from his heart," the soldier's mother, Melissa Volker, told The Unknown Soldiers via email. "You could tell how he felt by the size of his smile."

From a young age, it was obvious that RJ would one day put his heart and soul into serving his country.

"As far back as I can remember, he wanted to be an 'Army man,'" Melissa wrote. "He was doing that Army crawl thing (at) about 2 years old."

Throughout his freshman year in high school, RJ hounded his mom to sign a permission form that would grant him access to Army recruiters.

"I was afraid to sign because I thought if I did, the Army would take him as soon as he graduated," Melissa wrote about RJ, who would turn 18 in August 2003.

One Tuesday morning before school, Melissa gave in and signed the form. The date was Sept. 11, 2001. Hours later, RJ watched in silence as the Twin Towers fell and the Pentagon burned.

"He never said any more about joining up after that day," she wrote. "He got scared ... or so I thought."

In September 2005, RJ's younger brother, Johnathan, joined the U.S. Navy. As the fourth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks approached, RJ told his parents that he, too, would be volunteering to serve.

"Why now?" Melissa asked.

RJ explained that after 9/11, he felt an obligation to stay home and protect his family during uncertain times.

"I needed to stay," he said. "But if you're strong enough for (Johnathan) to go, I know I can go, and you and Dad will be fine."

Two weeks later, RJ left for boot camp. During the next year, he would get married and accomplish his lifelong dream of becoming a soldier. Then, in October 2006, Spc. Volker deployed to Iraq.

Almost every day, the young soldier would call his wife, Martha — who'd moved in with RJ's parents while he was away — and tell his family how much he loved them.

"As the days went by, I talked to him less and less (because) it was just so hard to think about the 'what ifs'," the soldier's mom wrote.

During one video call, RJ's camera began to shake as lights flickered in the background. When Melissa heard yelling, she realized her son's base was under attack.

"I sat there, glued to the computer, not sure what was happening and fearing the worst," she wrote. "He popped back up from under his table and said 'that was close ... you still with me, (Mom)?"

A few days before Christmas 2006, RJ's wife and mother were going through boxes of decorations when someone knocked on the door. Screams filled the house when they realized that two uniformed soldiers were waiting outside. The family's worst fears had come true.

"An IED exploded under the truck (RJ) was driving," Melissa wrote. "He took the (brunt of) the explosion by turning the truck away from it and saved the other men in his truck."

Specialist RJ Volker, who made the ultimate sacrifice in Baghdad on Dec. 20, 2006, at age 21, was escorted home to Texas and saluted by his 19-year-old brother. Melissa and her husband were in a fog as the heartbreaking scene unfolded.

"You just nod your heard and keep going," she wrote about the days after RJ's death.

After receiving letters from the president and governor, support from organizations like the Patriot Guard Riders and compassion from countless mourners, the fog began to lift.

"To know that our son's death was not in vain — that most of our nation appreciated the life he gave for them — is awesome," Melissa wrote.

Like all of our nation's Gold Star families, Spc. Robert "RJ" Volker's loved ones will never stop grieving. But whenever the past begins to haunt Melissa Volker, she thinks of her son's defining characteristic.

"RJ was just a good-hearted, hard-headed boy who heard a sound not too many people hear ... a call of duty," the soldier's mom wrote. "He had a soldier's heart."

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Note: Thank you to Notes With Wings for putting the Volkers and The Unknown Soldiers in touch.

The Gift

Images courtesy: Small Steps in Speech

Before U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Marc Small left for a month of Special Operations training, he sent a gift to his fiancee, Amanda Charney.

"In the box ... there were 30 envelopes for every day he wouldn't be able to talk to me," Amanda told The Unknown Soldiers. "Every day he was gone, I would open up an envelope."

Marc and Amanda were immediately drawn to one another when they met on New Year's Eve in 2005.

"He would smile and others would start to smile," Amanda said. "(Marc) laughing was the number one thing that got me going."

Amanda had no previous connection to the military, which resulted in a challenging adjustment to life as a soldier's girlfriend. She lived outside of Philadelphia in Collingswood, N.J., while Marc, who was from nearby Collegeville, Pa., was stationed at North Carolina's Fort Bragg.

"I never made the formal move down there," she said. "We were just trying to make it through a lot of traveling, and it was difficult."

Despite the unavoidable tribulations of a long-distance relationship, Marc and Amanda emerged stronger than ever. The soldier asked the girl of his dreams to marry him, and when she said yes, Marc knew the only thing standing in the way was a six-month deployment to Afghanistan.

Once Marc came home, the couple decided, they would marry and open up their house to children with disabilities. Marc wanted to assist Amanda — a language pathologist — in giving a voice to the voiceless.

"He said I could work with children out of our home," Amanda said.

Instead of complaining about their dreams being put on hold, Marc — a Green Beret — trained hard and focused on his unit's difficult mission overseas.

"He was so committed and determined," Amanda said.

After spending Christmas 2008 in each other's arms, the soldier and his fiancee said goodbye. In six short months, they would be together forever.

"We had our whole future planned," Amanda said.

Throughout January 2009, Amanda communicated with Marc using technological innovations that were difficult to imagine when the war in Afghanistan erupted back in 2001.

"Even when he was there, we would FaceTime and Skype," Amanda said.

When she asked Marc if he was OK, his response was almost always similar to what he told his fiancee before deploying: "Don't cry, I'll be back in no time."

"I'm sure he masked everything he saw so he wouldn't worry me," Amanda said.

On Feb. 12, 2009, Staff Sgt. Marc Small, 29, was killed when insurgents attacked his unit with rocket-propelled grenades and small arms fire, according to the Pentagon. For the valiant soldier's family and bride-to-be, life as they knew it was shattered in a matter of seconds.

"I didn't believe it at all," an emotional Amanda said. "It was a sadness and a shock that was just not real."

Instead of exchanging vows with the man she loved, Amanda watched in stunned silence as Marc's flag-draped casket returned to U.S. soil.

"All you saw were hundreds of children waving American flags," Amanda said. "It was a beautiful sight that I'll never forget."

As grief's dense fog began to clear, Amanda focused on making Marc's dream of helping children a reality. Putting her linguistic expertise in action, she launched a non-profit organization that helps children with language disorders communicate with one another. The charity's name — "Small Steps in Speech" — was Marc's idea.

"It's amazing that after four and a half years, we have distributed almost $300,000 to children around the country," Amanda said.

Amanda added that she never could have made it this far without the support of her fiance's grieving, equally determined relatives.

"I'm just so blessed to have continuing support from Marc's family," she said.

On Feb. 14, 2009, two days after her fiance's death, Amanda received another package in the mail. To her astonishment, it was a Valentine's Day gift from Marc.

"He planned this ahead of time before he left for Afghanistan," Amanda, now 34, said. "He had flowers delivered."

Nearly five years after tears of grief first filled Amanda Charney's eyes, the legacy of Staff Sgt. Marc Small endures. He placed the well-being of others above his own and gave his country a gift it can never repay.

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The Brave Ones

Image courtesy: Sgt. Margaret Taylor

This weekly column is about the thousands of brave men and women in uniform who selflessly serve and sacrifice. It's also about their families, who shoulder an immense burden that few outside the military community can comprehend.

I've learned many things while talking to these fine Americans. One is that every single man and woman who volunteers to defend freedom is brave. Another is that when a U.S. service member is killed, whether by hostile fire, an accident or suicide, every family member responds differently.

Kelsey Mills has been through more than most young wives could imagine. On April 10, 2012, her husband, U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Travis Mills, then 25, lost both arms and legs during an enemy improvised explosive attack in Afghanistan.

"I'm happy that my husband is still alive," Kelsey told The Unknown Soldiers less than a month after the explosion. "He's still here."

Every day since, Travis and Kelsey, who are raising a little girl, have inspired us with their dignity and courage. In my mind, it is people like these — not Miley Cyrus — who define what it means to be a true celebrity. I wish more people agreed.

Bob Bagosy, who I met through the Travis Manion Foundation, watched in agony as his son, U.S. Marine Sgt. Tommy Bagosy, drifted toward depression and despair because of traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress. At age 25, Tommy, who served in Afghanistan and Iraq, killed himself.

Bob was haunted by the mystery of Tommy's suicide.

Image courtesy: Bagosy family

"I know the who, what, where, when and how," Bob said. "But the 'why' has been eluding me."

Having spent time with Bob, I have seen the fortitude he has displayed while honoring his son's memory by helping other military families that have been forced to cope with tragedy. He and his wife are great parents and truly inspirational people.

Emily Feeks has served in the U.S. Navy and deployed to Afghanistan. She also watched her husband, Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class Patrick Feeks, deploy to Afghanistan as a Navy SEAL while she was serving in the Philippines.

Image courtesy: Emily Feeks

On Aug. 16, 2012, Patrick, 28, died in a helicopter crash that killed seven Americans.

"You look around and everyone is happy go-lucky, and you wonder why you can't have that," Emily said less than three months after the crash. "Why does it have to happen to you?"

During a June trip to San Diego, I finally met Emily, along with Karlyn Deveau, who lost her fiance, Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 2nd Class David Warsen, 27, in the same crash. While tears were shed, both of these young women showed the same brand of tenacity that their loved ones displayed as Navy SEALs. If my daughter grows up to be like Emily and Karlyn, I will be proud.

Thad Forester lost his younger brother, U.S. Air Force Senior Airman Mark Forester, 29, in Afghanistan on Sept. 29, 2010. When we spoke less than three years after Mark died while trying to save his unit's medic, Thad was in a state of proud reflection.

"We all have missions on this earth and some of them are different for each person," Thad said. "One of Mark's was to help defeat terrorism, and he did it."

Image courtesy: Forester family

On Sept. 23, Thad released a book about Mark called "My Brother In Arms," which was written with Matthew Glencoe. I hope everyone who reads this column will also take the time to read the story of this remarkable American hero.

Beth Strickland Funk, who courageously spoke with The Unknown Soldiers for last week's column, is not thinking about anything other than caring for her family and making it through the next day. Her son, U.S. Army Sgt. Joshua "Jay" Strickland, was killed in Afghanistan on Sept. 21.

"We're all going back and forth between the anger and the grieving," Beth said ten days after her son was killed by small arms fire.

When I go to sleep at night, I think of people like Beth Strickland Funk and everyone else mentioned above. They've been through more pain than most of us will in a lifetime.

Our men and women in uniform are incredibly brave. Hopefully, everyone will join me in realizing that their families are, too.

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Pay Attention

Image courtesy: U.S. Air Force/David Tucker

Ten days after losing her son in Afghanistan, Beth Strickland Funk was trying to make sense of an unthinkable tragedy.

"We're all in shock," the grieving mother told The Unknown Soldiers on Oct. 1. "We're all just kind of walking around dazed and confused."

The last time Beth spoke to her son, "he was fine." Sgt. Joshua Strickland, who was called "Jay" by family and friends, seemed to be coping well with the strains of a tough combat deployment.

"He would talk about his family and getting the job done," Beth said. "He didn't sound stressed."

Then, without even the slightest hint of foreshadowing, everything changed.

Sergeant Strickland was born with a twin brother. From that day forward, he seemed to form a close bond with almost everyone who crossed his path.

"Everyone loved Jay," his mom said.

Image courtesy: U.S. Army

Jay went to high school in Georgia before his parents moved to Texas in 2008. He joined the U.S. Army that June, and after extensive training, became a Special Forces warrior stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord in Washington State.

"He was just an amazing young man," Beth said.

Before leaving for Afghanistan in April, Jay got married and was helping raise three children.

"This was his first full deployment being in Special Forces," the soldier's mother said.

With another son serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, Beth embraced life as a military mom.

"I knew from the moment our boys were born that they would do something big," she said of her four sons.

In late September, Beth's husband, Jim, was mowing the lawn when he suddenly came inside with tears in his eyes. After opening the door, Beth saw two fully uniformed soldiers.

"I fell to the ground and started crying before they even said anything," she said.

According to the Pentagon, Sgt. Strickland, 23, was conducting range training on Sept. 21 in eastern Afghanistan's Paktia Province when his unit was attacked with small arms fire. He was killed alongside Staff Sgt. Liam Nevins, 32, and Staff Sgt. Timothy McGill, 30.

While numerous media outlets have reported that the attack was carried out by a man wearing an Afghan National Army uniform, a NATO news release said the incident is under investigation.

"We're all going back and forth between the anger and the grieving," Jay's mom said.

When we spoke, Beth was still preparing for the funeral of her son, whose flag-draped casket returned to American soil on Sept. 23. But she was already thanking supporters in Texas, Georgia, Washington state and around the country for showing so much love to her family.

"I'm just amazed by how many people have come out," she said. "Just last night, I came outside and saw two (American) flags in my yard."

In addition to the devastating impact on Jay's wife and children, one of the hardest aspects of the tragedy for Beth has been explaining the soldier's passing to his little sister. As Beth struggled to share the terrible news, her youngest child said that she'd just had a dream about Jay.

"I think that was God's way of letting me know that she understands," Beth said.

Still, it's hard to make sense of another wartime tragedy that robbed three American families of such selfless, heroic young men. But as Beth mourns the loss of her son and his brothers in arms, she is also thinking about the thousands of men and women still serving in harm's way.

"This has just brought home to so many people that we still need to be praying and paying attention ... and praying for our soldiers and their families," she said.

As the conflict in Afghanistan enters its 13th year, Beth Strickland Funk's words should inspire the nation for which her son sacrificed everything to defend. While thinking about war is difficult, we must honor Sgt. Joshua "Jay" Strickland and his courageous family by paying more attention.

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Image courtesy: Beth Strickland Funk

The Man He Became

Images courtesy: Funcheon family

Before Alex Funcheon became a soldier, he was a high school dropout.

"He was a handful," Alex's father, Bob Funcheon, told The Unknown Soldiers. "He got involved with drugs ... it messed him up."

After quitting school, Alex, who grew up in Wichita, Kan., quickly found himself broke and in trouble with the law. That's when he turned to a lifelong source of inspiration.

"He was always interested in the Army ever since he was a little boy," Alex's mother, Karen Funcheon, said. "His grandfather served in World War II ... he landed at Normandy."

Alex "didn't enlist because of 9/11," according to his dad, but because he recognized that when it came to turning his life around, time was running out.

"He wanted to earn his spurs," Bob said. "He wanted to live up to the expectations of a professional soldier."

After initially struggling with the rigors of boot camp, Alex surprised his parents by earning the reputation of a serious young warrior, rather than the irresponsible partier of his youth.

"It just showed that he was really starting to figure things out," Alex's dad said. "(The military) allowed him to start becoming the man he was meant to be."

On the eve of the military's troop surge in Iraq, U.S. Army Sgt. Alex Funcheon spent a night with his parents before deploying in the fall of 2006.

"I'm not scared of dying," Alex told his dad. "I'm scared of letting my friends down."

Alex was always extremely popular.

"He was very loyal ... he would never 'rat' on anyone," his mom said. "Everybody just loved him."

"He always took care of his friends, and that carried over to the military," Alex's dad added.

As a soldier, Sgt. Funcheon made sure to keep in touch with his parents, who worried every day about his physical safety and emotional well-being. Their fears escalated around the 2006 holiday season, when Alex didn't contact them for almost three weeks.

"Then we found out that there was a Humvee that had blown up in his area, and he was part of the detail that was there to clean up after it," Bob said. "I can only imagine how that affected him."

When it became clear to Bob and Karen that their only son was experiencing some of war's most visceral horrors, they worried he would return to Kansas with wounds, including the kind nobody can see.

"The more I learned about (post-traumatic stress), the more I realized that he probably would have come home with that," Alex's dad said. "Even though I knew he could die, I never really expected that."

Bob was out playing golf on April 29, 2007, when his wife had an encounter that every military mother was dreading during that violent spring of war in Afghanistan and Iraq.

"I heard this big old knock on the door," Karen said. "I turned the corner, saw the window and saw the two uniformed men standing there.

According to the Pentagon, Sgt. Alex Funcheon, 21, was killed when an explosion tore through his vehicle in Baghdad. Two fellow Americans died at Alex's side, along with an Iraqi interpreter. The Funcheons later learned that one U.S. soldier survived the attack.

"My initial response was disbelief," said Bob, who will always remember his wife's frantic phone call.

For Bob and Karen Funcheon, as well as their surviving daughter, the last six and a half years have been filled with surreal moments, including a funeral attended by over 1,000 people and an Air Force One meeting with President George W. Bush. They've also been haunted by painful dreams of what could have been.

"(Alex) wanted to get married; he wanted to have children," the fallen hero's mom said. "He wanted to have grandchildren."

"He started living up to his abilities," said Bob Funcheon as his voice cracked with emotion. "The toughest part for me is that I'll never meet that man he had become."

As politicians insist that America's post-9/11 conflict is "winding down," it's easy to set aside the sacrifices made in Iraq and Afghanistan. The words of a grieving family remind us to never forget.

"He wasn't a number," Karen Funcheon said. "He was our only son."

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The Warrior Spirit

Images courtesy: Gentz family

Long before U.S. Air Force Capt. Joel Gentz helped save 39 lives as an elite combat rescue officer in Afghanistan, he was in love with exploring the universe.

"He was always a very active child," Capt. Gentz's father, Steve, told The Unknown Soldiers. "The outdoors was always a part of what he did."

Inspired by the crew of Space Shuttle Challenger, which perished when he was a little boy, Joel grew up wanting to become an astronaut. Years later, as he decided which path to take after graduating high school, another national tragedy — 9/11 — further strengthened his resolve to serve.

"He was already talking about enlisting in the Air Force," Steve said. "I was pulling my hair out.

"You always want to support your child," he continued. "But I also said, 'Gee, can you think about this a little bit?'"

Joel, who grew up in Chelsea, Mich., decided to enroll at Purdue University as part of the Air Force ROTC program. With his eye on becoming a pilot, he studied aeronautical engineering and excelled as both a student-athlete and ROTC cadet.

"Every year he was there, the wing voted to give him the 'warrior spirit' award," Joel's father said. "To him, all of the other (awards) didn't matter; it was the opinion of his fellow cadets."

After graduating with honors from Purdue, Joel surprised his parents.

"He was awarded a pilot's spot and actually turned it down," Steve said. "(That) had his mother and I scratching our heads."

With thousands fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan in mid-2007, the young Air Force officer decided to focus on saving U.S. and coalition troops from firefights on dangerous post-9/11 battlefields. After several years of intense training, Joel would become a pararescueman.

"At one point I called his (ROTC) commander," Joel's dad said. "He basically said 'you know, this isn't a kid who is going to be happy unless he's directly involved.'"

In 2008, Joel married his college sweetheart, Kathryn. After becoming a combat rescue officer, he was eventually stationed at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas, where he would await orders for his first overseas deployment.

"He liked his job ... he loved it," Steve said. "You could also see that he loved Kathryn deeply and wanted to spend time with her."

Joel's parents happened to be in Las Vegas for an April 2010 conference when the airman learned he would soon deploy to Afghanistan. For the next week, Joel spent time with his parents while also celebrating an early wedding anniversary with his wife.

"We were just supporting him and letting him know that we love him," Joel's father said. "We were grateful and continue to be grateful that we got to be there to do that."

For almost three months in Afghanistan, Joel and his pararescue team saved dozens of American lives during perilous helicopter missions. On June 9, 2010, Joel and six others boarded an HH-60G Pave Hawk known as "Pedro 66" for another rescue operation in the volatile Helmand province.

Pedro 66 was shot down. While two survived the crash, five airmen, including Capt. Joel Gentz, were killed. Joel, 25, died just two days before his second wedding anniversary.

"That day I was at home walking through my garage, and I saw the two men in blue and knew immediately what was up," the grieving father said.

Steve, who has two surviving children, vividly remembers telling his son in person before calling his daughter, who was in Boston.

"That haunts me, calling a kid and telling her that her older brother died," he said.

Steve became emotional when I asked him to describe the three-plus years since the crash.

"We have all struggled with withdrawal and depression," he said. "But we're also very much a group of survivors, and we know the way Joel's spirit is, he wouldn't want us to sit down and not do anything."

Joel's parents are active supporters of the Team Red, White & Blue veterans organization. They keep in close touch with their son's widow, as well as the other families affected by the crash, including both survivors.

"It's not just about me," Steve Gentz said. "It's about the sacrifices of all the families."

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The Next Journey

Images courtesy: Neiberger family

"A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike," John Steinbeck wrote in "Travels with Charley: In Search of America." Indeed, when it comes to the thousands of military families impacted by 9/11 and the wars that followed, every story is unique.

On one busy 2005 day, Ami Neiberger-Miller was catching a bus when one of her three younger brothers, Christopher, called and told her he was joining the U.S. Army.

"I said to him at the time: 'It's a very honorable thing to do,'" Ami told The Unknown Soldiers. "But I was concerned that he would go to Iraq, and his response to me was, 'Of course I want to go to Iraq.'"

Despite fearing for his safety, Ami admired Chris' desire to serve his country no matter where he was needed.

"He was in high school when 9/11 happened," she said. "(It) influenced him seeing that and realizing that our country was going to war."

After graduating high school in Gainesville, Fla., Chris enrolled at Florida State University instead of the University of Florida, which several family members attended. Even though the Seminoles and Gators are archrivals, the Neiberger family remained as tight as ever.

"The idea of brotherhood and camaraderie in the military really appealed to him ... being part of a team," Chris' sister said. "Growing up, he was always part of a team."

After training at Georgia's Fort Benning and first deploying to Germany, Spc. Christopher Neiberger left for Iraq in September 2006. Even as the young soldier battled insurgents and terrorists on Baghdad's war-torn streets, he would always make time to let his family know that he was safe.

"He would call us pretty regularly," Ami said. "I didn't realize until later the lengths he went to call us."

When Ami asked her brother what a typical day in Iraq entailed, his responses were often jarring.

"Well, we'd basically patrol and wait for someone to shoot at us," Chris said.

Even as the combat deployment stretched into its eleventh month, Chris was upbeat about his job and spoke of studying to become a teacher, like his father, after returning home.

"I would mail him history books to Iraq," Ami said. "He very much loved philosophy and ideas, and I think even in Iraq, he still tried to keep that part of his life."

On Aug. 7, 2007 — four days after Chris' 22nd birthday — Ami received a troubling voicemail from her mother. After being unable to get through, she made a frantic call to her aunt.

"(My aunt) told me that (Chris) had been killed in action and wouldn't be coming home," she said. "I dropped my phone, started screaming and ran out of the house."

According to the Pentagon, Chris was killed in Baghdad on Aug. 6, 2007, by an enemy improvised explosive device. His death was a pulverizing blow to Ami, her family and their northern Florida city.

"When a death happens in service to your country, it's not just your loved one," Ami said. "It's also the holding up by the community of your loved one as a hero."

After using her public relations background to handle a flood of media requests following her brother's death, Ami went on to become a public affairs officer at the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), which comforts and cares for loved ones of fallen U.S. troops.

"I want to be identified as part of this community of people who have paid this price for their country," Ami, now 42, said. "The experience of loss for families now in the military is very different than previous wars."

Even though Spc. Christopher Neiberger died more than six years ago, his spirit endures through the work of his only sister.

"He could have been a writer, a playwright, a teacher or anything, but we'll never know because his journey stopped," she said. "It stopped in Section 60."

When Ami Neiberger-Miller visits her brother in Section 60 of Arlington National Cemetery, she is heartbroken, proud, and deeply inspired.

"I want to share what my brother gave this country," she said. "Because he gave something amazing."

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Remember Afghanistan

Image courtesy: U.S. Air Force/Greg Davis

On Aug. 31, Staff Sgt. Joshua Bowden was busy doing what thousands of American troops are still doing in Afghanistan. He was risking his life in a dangerous, faraway place.

According to the Pentagon, Staff Sgt. Bowden, 28, was killed that same day when enemy forces attacked his U.S. Army patrol. The fallen Villa Rica, Ga., soldier will be laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery by his grieving family and friends.

While the debate over taking military action in Syria continues to unfold, I feel like we are trapped in the twilight zone. As the speeches, punditry and protests get louder and lengthier, do most Americans even realize that our countrymen are still fighting and dying in Afghanistan?

During heavy Syria coverage on cable news, there has been scant mention of daily events in Afghanistan, including the deaths of unselfish patriots like Bowden. This is no surprise, as the national media, for the most part, long ago dismissed its obligation to vigorously report on America's lengthiest post-9/11 conflict.

Even more troubling is the almost complete lack of recognition by many of our nation's public representatives, which along with the media's dereliction of duty, has trickled into our national psyche. If our leaders aren't talking about Afghanistan, some might ask, why should we?

Just four days after the combat death of an American soldier in Afghanistan, Secretary of State John Kerry appeared before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to testify about the Obama administration's Syria policy.

"Now, I remember Iraq," the former U.S. Senator and 2004 Democratic presidential nominee said on Sept. 3. "Secretary (Chuck) Hagel remembers Iraq. General (Martin) Dempsey remembers Iraq. But Secretary Hagel and I and many of you sitting on the dais remember Iraq in a special way because we were here for that vote."

I'm glad the Secretary of State remembers Iraq. But when I searched Kerry's 2,724-word prepared remarks for any mention of the war still involving thousands of brave men and women and their families, "Afghanistan" was nowhere to be found.

The purpose of this week's column is not to attack one politician or political party. It's to highlight the fallacy of a vociferous debate about using military force in Syria while virtually ignoring the war in Afghanistan, where our nation's military community continues to serve with awe-inspiring selflessness.

Image courtesy: Cpl. Paul Peterson

Almost every day I speak to families of the fallen Afghanistan and Iraq war veterans and active duty U.S. service members. In early September, I received a Facebook message from a grieving mother on the anniversary of her son's death in Afghanistan.

"Today is very difficult," she wrote. "It's one year today. And it's becoming reality."

Every military family's reality is different. Some have lost loved ones. Some have seen their loved ones wounded, physically and/or emotionally. Some anxiously await their loved one's return from Afghanistan or an overseas base. Some worry that their 18-year-old son or daughter, who was in kindergarten or first grade on 9/11, will soon end up fighting and bleeding in a war-torn land like Syria.

Approximately 99 percent of us, including myself, do not serve in uniform. Some of us live our lives without any connection to what's been happening for the last 12 years in Afghanistan or what happened for almost nine years in Iraq.

U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Travis Mills, who I met last year at the Walter Reed military hospital in Bethesda, Md., has no such luxury after losing his arms and legs during an Apr. 10, 2012 roadside bomb attack in Afghanistan. Staff Sgt. Mills, his wife and their young daughter have shown incredible courage during the 26-year-old soldier's difficult rehabilitation.

Ursula Ebbert lost her husband, Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL) Kevin Ebbert, 32, in Afghanistan on Nov. 24, 2012. One year later, Ursula will spend Thanksgiving mourning an incomprehensible loss.

"These things happen," the fallen Navy SEAL's wife said. "You just think it won't happen to you."

No matter what happens in Syria, we cannot overlook the impact another conflict would have on a military community that is still fighting a war in Afghanistan. Ebbert, Mills and Bowden are not names on a list, but American heroes that our politicians, journalists and citizens should remember every single day.

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Image courtesy: Spc. Ryan Scott

The Real World

Images courtesy: Cpl. Geoffrey Scarborough

Five years ago, Cpl. Geoffrey Scarborough was in the same position as millions of young Americans. He was deciding which path to take after graduating high school.

"I knew I wasn't ready for college, so I wanted some discipline," Cpl. Scarborough said.

Today, Scarborough is a U.S. Marine patrolling some of the world's most perilous terrain. He's deployed to Afghanistan as a military journalist documenting some of the war's final months.

"I took a photography class in high school, and I was actually going to go to college for photography," Scarborough told The Unknown Soldiers from Afghanistan in August. "When I told my recruiter that, he told me I could do it in the Marine Corps."

Scarborough, 23, is a long way from his hometown of Currituck, N.C. During his second deployment to Afghanistan, he's accompanied Marine units that are hunting terrorists, finding improvised explosive devices and seizing weapons in areas like Helmand Province, where so many Americans have served and sacrificed since 9/11.

"The hardest part of doing this job is getting in and earning the trust of the unit that you're going out with," the military journalist said. "It's hard to work around with them and get them to let you do certain things if they don't trust you."

One set of photos sent back home by Scarborough on July 23 shows U.S. Marines and military working dogs patrolling a southern Afghan village with troops from the former Soviet republic of Georgia. From the language barrier to the ongoing Taliban and al-Qaida threat, one can only imagine the challenges U.S. and coalition forces still face in Afghanistan.

Fortunately, Scarborough said the seven months he's spent traveling around the war zone have been mostly quiet.

"It's calmed down a lot out here," he said. "It's been pretty good and calm, and everything's been going smoothly."

Like thousands of fellow Americans still serving in Afghanistan, relative tranquility could be shattered at any moment by an IED blast or Taliban sniper attack. But during our conversation, I heard no fear in the young Marine's voice.

"It's awesome," Scarborough said of his duties in Afghanistan.

Instead of hanging out in the small beach community he calls home, Scarborough communicates with family and friends by satellite phone, email and Facebook. Instead of hugging his mom on Mother's Day, he had to send her a video greeting from the U.S. Marine base at Camp Leatherneck.

Despite the hardships, the young Marine is not complaining about spending another year away from home.

"I love doing what I do," Scarborough said. "It's probably one of the cooler jobs out there to do in the Marine Corps because you can see every aspect of the Marine Corps."

Another set of Scarborough's photos shows American troops and military working dogs clearing huts of enemy weapons. After Marines kicked in a makeshift doorway of one empty mud hut, one dog can be seen climbing into the tiny building to search for IEDs.

"Being out here with these guys ... it's good," Scarborough said. "I'm glad to see that the young guys, even though it may be the last deployment for a lot of these guys ... that they get to see what it's like and get the real-world training."

Very few Americans live in the world that Scarborough has been documenting for the better part of two Afghanistan deployments. While some are still paying attention to the war, many don't even realize there is still an active conflict involving thousands of U.S. boots on the ground.

The same day I spoke to Cpl. Geoffrey Scarborough, the Pentagon sent out a news release about U.S. Army 1st Lt. Jason Togi, who was killed in an Aug. 26 IED attack in eastern Afghanistan. From his fellow troops in Afghanistan to his family and friends in American Samoa, 1st Lt. Togi is being saluted and mourned.

Between now and the scheduled conclusion of America's combat mission in Afghanistan next year, I hope more Americans will choose to live in the real world. It's the very least we can do to honor the brave men and women who give us the luxury of choosing whether or not to care about the war they are still fighting.

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM

Take Notice

Image courtesy: Sgt. Margaret Taylor

The war in Afghanistan is far from over. While too many at home have moved on, thousands of brave men and women from our cities and towns are still in harm's way.

"The United States is incredibly blessed with generations of uniformed service men and women, inextricably linked to a legacy born in the Declaration of Independence by our forefathers," U.S. Army Brig. Gen. Mike Wehr wrote to The Unknown Soldiers from Afghanistan in August.

Every day, Brig. Gen. Wehr, who has been serving in uniform since the Reagan administration, sees the hard work of U.S. troops up close. He also has great admiration for the Afghan people, who have spent decades living in a war-torn land.

"Today our nation's sons and daughters set the example of selfless service for a generation of Afghans who are also dying for their country," the general wrote.

After more than a decade of war, enemy improvised explosive devices are the biggest threat to U.S. and coalition troops, as well as Afghan men, women and children. On Aug. 6, another American soldier — Spc. Nick Welch, 26, of Mill City, Ore. — died from wounds suffered in an IED attack.

"Our hearts go out to the victims — each came to Afghanistan to make a difference and we are deeply indebted for their sacrifice," Wehr wrote. "As military leaders, we take every casualty seriously, and the IED, in its countless forms, proves to be a challenge."

The general, who also served in both Iraq wars, is determined to make further progress against the IED threat before the conclusion of the U.S.-led combat mission in Afghanistan.

Image courtesy: Ryan McClymony

"We continue to improve our technology, our tactics and our institutional training to leverage information gained from the enemy," Wehr wrote. "We have made vast improvements in all aspects of IED mitigation to include our armored vehicles, our hand-held tools and detection methods, as well as integrating a wide arsenal of electronic tools and counter measures."

Wehr, who grew up in a military family and now calls California home, is closely monitoring and supervising the effort to rid Afghanistan of the IED threat and its horrific consequences.

"Specific for counter-IED, we have over 200 trainers, military and civilian, across the country, teaching everything from basic counter-IED awareness to advanced IED defeat techniques," the general wrote. "Currently, the Afghan forces integrate counter-IED training into all of their basic military and police training courses."

While there have been major issues working with Afghan forces — the most serious being "insider" attacks on U.S. troops — military leaders like Wehr are confident that the country's military will soon be ready to battle the Taliban and al Qaeda on its own.

"The Afghan National Security Forces are already in the lead for 93 percent of all operations, including (counter-IED missions) such as route clearance," Wehr wrote. "I am confident that through continued support from the coalition and international community, through advising and funding beyond 2014, that Afghan forces will increasingly counter the threat."

Wehr cites economic growth, road construction, the establishment of communication networks and education advancement as evidence of progress made by U.S., Afghan and coalition forces.

"Access to education has improved, with more than eight million children in school, of which over three million are girls," he wrote.

Military leaders like Wehr understand how much American blood and treasure have been sacrificed in Afghanistan since the 9/11 attacks.

"The United States is a leader within NATO and will not walk away from Afghanistan upon the completion of our combat mission at the end of 2014," the general wrote. "We have invested greatly in Afghanistan over the past decade, and we are determined to build upon our hard-fought gains."

Almost twelve years after the war began and long since much of the public stopped paying attention, Wehr is amazed by the heroism and sacrifice of the courageous American sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers and mothers who spend many months away from their families to serve during wartime.

"Trust me, you're walking among heroes daily," Brig. Gen. Mike Wehr wrote.

As selfless patriots from our communities continue serving in Afghanistan, it's up to us to notice.

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM

Image courtesy: Sgt. Robert Yarbrough