The Warrior Spirit

Images courtesy: Gentz family

Long before U.S. Air Force Capt. Joel Gentz helped save 39 lives as an elite combat rescue officer in Afghanistan, he was in love with exploring the universe.

"He was always a very active child," Capt. Gentz's father, Steve, told The Unknown Soldiers. "The outdoors was always a part of what he did."

Inspired by the crew of Space Shuttle Challenger, which perished when he was a little boy, Joel grew up wanting to become an astronaut. Years later, as he decided which path to take after graduating high school, another national tragedy — 9/11 — further strengthened his resolve to serve.

"He was already talking about enlisting in the Air Force," Steve said. "I was pulling my hair out.

"You always want to support your child," he continued. "But I also said, 'Gee, can you think about this a little bit?'"

Joel, who grew up in Chelsea, Mich., decided to enroll at Purdue University as part of the Air Force ROTC program. With his eye on becoming a pilot, he studied aeronautical engineering and excelled as both a student-athlete and ROTC cadet.

"Every year he was there, the wing voted to give him the 'warrior spirit' award," Joel's father said. "To him, all of the other (awards) didn't matter; it was the opinion of his fellow cadets."

After graduating with honors from Purdue, Joel surprised his parents.

"He was awarded a pilot's spot and actually turned it down," Steve said. "(That) had his mother and I scratching our heads."

With thousands fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan in mid-2007, the young Air Force officer decided to focus on saving U.S. and coalition troops from firefights on dangerous post-9/11 battlefields. After several years of intense training, Joel would become a pararescueman.

"At one point I called his (ROTC) commander," Joel's dad said. "He basically said 'you know, this isn't a kid who is going to be happy unless he's directly involved.'"

In 2008, Joel married his college sweetheart, Kathryn. After becoming a combat rescue officer, he was eventually stationed at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas, where he would await orders for his first overseas deployment.

"He liked his job ... he loved it," Steve said. "You could also see that he loved Kathryn deeply and wanted to spend time with her."

Joel's parents happened to be in Las Vegas for an April 2010 conference when the airman learned he would soon deploy to Afghanistan. For the next week, Joel spent time with his parents while also celebrating an early wedding anniversary with his wife.

"We were just supporting him and letting him know that we love him," Joel's father said. "We were grateful and continue to be grateful that we got to be there to do that."

For almost three months in Afghanistan, Joel and his pararescue team saved dozens of American lives during perilous helicopter missions. On June 9, 2010, Joel and six others boarded an HH-60G Pave Hawk known as "Pedro 66" for another rescue operation in the volatile Helmand province.

Pedro 66 was shot down. While two survived the crash, five airmen, including Capt. Joel Gentz, were killed. Joel, 25, died just two days before his second wedding anniversary.

"That day I was at home walking through my garage, and I saw the two men in blue and knew immediately what was up," the grieving father said.

Steve, who has two surviving children, vividly remembers telling his son in person before calling his daughter, who was in Boston.

"That haunts me, calling a kid and telling her that her older brother died," he said.

Steve became emotional when I asked him to describe the three-plus years since the crash.

"We have all struggled with withdrawal and depression," he said. "But we're also very much a group of survivors, and we know the way Joel's spirit is, he wouldn't want us to sit down and not do anything."

Joel's parents are active supporters of the Team Red, White & Blue veterans organization. They keep in close touch with their son's widow, as well as the other families affected by the crash, including both survivors.

"It's not just about me," Steve Gentz said. "It's about the sacrifices of all the families."

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The Next Journey

Images courtesy: Neiberger family

"A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike," John Steinbeck wrote in "Travels with Charley: In Search of America." Indeed, when it comes to the thousands of military families impacted by 9/11 and the wars that followed, every story is unique.

On one busy 2005 day, Ami Neiberger-Miller was catching a bus when one of her three younger brothers, Christopher, called and told her he was joining the U.S. Army.

"I said to him at the time: 'It's a very honorable thing to do,'" Ami told The Unknown Soldiers. "But I was concerned that he would go to Iraq, and his response to me was, 'Of course I want to go to Iraq.'"

Despite fearing for his safety, Ami admired Chris' desire to serve his country no matter where he was needed.

"He was in high school when 9/11 happened," she said. "(It) influenced him seeing that and realizing that our country was going to war."

After graduating high school in Gainesville, Fla., Chris enrolled at Florida State University instead of the University of Florida, which several family members attended. Even though the Seminoles and Gators are archrivals, the Neiberger family remained as tight as ever.

"The idea of brotherhood and camaraderie in the military really appealed to him ... being part of a team," Chris' sister said. "Growing up, he was always part of a team."

After training at Georgia's Fort Benning and first deploying to Germany, Spc. Christopher Neiberger left for Iraq in September 2006. Even as the young soldier battled insurgents and terrorists on Baghdad's war-torn streets, he would always make time to let his family know that he was safe.

"He would call us pretty regularly," Ami said. "I didn't realize until later the lengths he went to call us."

When Ami asked her brother what a typical day in Iraq entailed, his responses were often jarring.

"Well, we'd basically patrol and wait for someone to shoot at us," Chris said.

Even as the combat deployment stretched into its eleventh month, Chris was upbeat about his job and spoke of studying to become a teacher, like his father, after returning home.

"I would mail him history books to Iraq," Ami said. "He very much loved philosophy and ideas, and I think even in Iraq, he still tried to keep that part of his life."

On Aug. 7, 2007 — four days after Chris' 22nd birthday — Ami received a troubling voicemail from her mother. After being unable to get through, she made a frantic call to her aunt.

"(My aunt) told me that (Chris) had been killed in action and wouldn't be coming home," she said. "I dropped my phone, started screaming and ran out of the house."

According to the Pentagon, Chris was killed in Baghdad on Aug. 6, 2007, by an enemy improvised explosive device. His death was a pulverizing blow to Ami, her family and their northern Florida city.

"When a death happens in service to your country, it's not just your loved one," Ami said. "It's also the holding up by the community of your loved one as a hero."

After using her public relations background to handle a flood of media requests following her brother's death, Ami went on to become a public affairs officer at the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), which comforts and cares for loved ones of fallen U.S. troops.

"I want to be identified as part of this community of people who have paid this price for their country," Ami, now 42, said. "The experience of loss for families now in the military is very different than previous wars."

Even though Spc. Christopher Neiberger died more than six years ago, his spirit endures through the work of his only sister.

"He could have been a writer, a playwright, a teacher or anything, but we'll never know because his journey stopped," she said. "It stopped in Section 60."

When Ami Neiberger-Miller visits her brother in Section 60 of Arlington National Cemetery, she is heartbroken, proud, and deeply inspired.

"I want to share what my brother gave this country," she said. "Because he gave something amazing."

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Remember Afghanistan

Image courtesy: U.S. Air Force/Greg Davis

On Aug. 31, Staff Sgt. Joshua Bowden was busy doing what thousands of American troops are still doing in Afghanistan. He was risking his life in a dangerous, faraway place.

According to the Pentagon, Staff Sgt. Bowden, 28, was killed that same day when enemy forces attacked his U.S. Army patrol. The fallen Villa Rica, Ga., soldier will be laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery by his grieving family and friends.

While the debate over taking military action in Syria continues to unfold, I feel like we are trapped in the twilight zone. As the speeches, punditry and protests get louder and lengthier, do most Americans even realize that our countrymen are still fighting and dying in Afghanistan?

During heavy Syria coverage on cable news, there has been scant mention of daily events in Afghanistan, including the deaths of unselfish patriots like Bowden. This is no surprise, as the national media, for the most part, long ago dismissed its obligation to vigorously report on America's lengthiest post-9/11 conflict.

Even more troubling is the almost complete lack of recognition by many of our nation's public representatives, which along with the media's dereliction of duty, has trickled into our national psyche. If our leaders aren't talking about Afghanistan, some might ask, why should we?

Just four days after the combat death of an American soldier in Afghanistan, Secretary of State John Kerry appeared before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to testify about the Obama administration's Syria policy.

"Now, I remember Iraq," the former U.S. Senator and 2004 Democratic presidential nominee said on Sept. 3. "Secretary (Chuck) Hagel remembers Iraq. General (Martin) Dempsey remembers Iraq. But Secretary Hagel and I and many of you sitting on the dais remember Iraq in a special way because we were here for that vote."

I'm glad the Secretary of State remembers Iraq. But when I searched Kerry's 2,724-word prepared remarks for any mention of the war still involving thousands of brave men and women and their families, "Afghanistan" was nowhere to be found.

The purpose of this week's column is not to attack one politician or political party. It's to highlight the fallacy of a vociferous debate about using military force in Syria while virtually ignoring the war in Afghanistan, where our nation's military community continues to serve with awe-inspiring selflessness.

Image courtesy: Cpl. Paul Peterson

Almost every day I speak to families of the fallen Afghanistan and Iraq war veterans and active duty U.S. service members. In early September, I received a Facebook message from a grieving mother on the anniversary of her son's death in Afghanistan.

"Today is very difficult," she wrote. "It's one year today. And it's becoming reality."

Every military family's reality is different. Some have lost loved ones. Some have seen their loved ones wounded, physically and/or emotionally. Some anxiously await their loved one's return from Afghanistan or an overseas base. Some worry that their 18-year-old son or daughter, who was in kindergarten or first grade on 9/11, will soon end up fighting and bleeding in a war-torn land like Syria.

Approximately 99 percent of us, including myself, do not serve in uniform. Some of us live our lives without any connection to what's been happening for the last 12 years in Afghanistan or what happened for almost nine years in Iraq.

U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Travis Mills, who I met last year at the Walter Reed military hospital in Bethesda, Md., has no such luxury after losing his arms and legs during an Apr. 10, 2012 roadside bomb attack in Afghanistan. Staff Sgt. Mills, his wife and their young daughter have shown incredible courage during the 26-year-old soldier's difficult rehabilitation.

Ursula Ebbert lost her husband, Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL) Kevin Ebbert, 32, in Afghanistan on Nov. 24, 2012. One year later, Ursula will spend Thanksgiving mourning an incomprehensible loss.

"These things happen," the fallen Navy SEAL's wife said. "You just think it won't happen to you."

No matter what happens in Syria, we cannot overlook the impact another conflict would have on a military community that is still fighting a war in Afghanistan. Ebbert, Mills and Bowden are not names on a list, but American heroes that our politicians, journalists and citizens should remember every single day.

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Image courtesy: Spc. Ryan Scott

The Real World

Images courtesy: Cpl. Geoffrey Scarborough

Five years ago, Cpl. Geoffrey Scarborough was in the same position as millions of young Americans. He was deciding which path to take after graduating high school.

"I knew I wasn't ready for college, so I wanted some discipline," Cpl. Scarborough said.

Today, Scarborough is a U.S. Marine patrolling some of the world's most perilous terrain. He's deployed to Afghanistan as a military journalist documenting some of the war's final months.

"I took a photography class in high school, and I was actually going to go to college for photography," Scarborough told The Unknown Soldiers from Afghanistan in August. "When I told my recruiter that, he told me I could do it in the Marine Corps."

Scarborough, 23, is a long way from his hometown of Currituck, N.C. During his second deployment to Afghanistan, he's accompanied Marine units that are hunting terrorists, finding improvised explosive devices and seizing weapons in areas like Helmand Province, where so many Americans have served and sacrificed since 9/11.

"The hardest part of doing this job is getting in and earning the trust of the unit that you're going out with," the military journalist said. "It's hard to work around with them and get them to let you do certain things if they don't trust you."

One set of photos sent back home by Scarborough on July 23 shows U.S. Marines and military working dogs patrolling a southern Afghan village with troops from the former Soviet republic of Georgia. From the language barrier to the ongoing Taliban and al-Qaida threat, one can only imagine the challenges U.S. and coalition forces still face in Afghanistan.

Fortunately, Scarborough said the seven months he's spent traveling around the war zone have been mostly quiet.

"It's calmed down a lot out here," he said. "It's been pretty good and calm, and everything's been going smoothly."

Like thousands of fellow Americans still serving in Afghanistan, relative tranquility could be shattered at any moment by an IED blast or Taliban sniper attack. But during our conversation, I heard no fear in the young Marine's voice.

"It's awesome," Scarborough said of his duties in Afghanistan.

Instead of hanging out in the small beach community he calls home, Scarborough communicates with family and friends by satellite phone, email and Facebook. Instead of hugging his mom on Mother's Day, he had to send her a video greeting from the U.S. Marine base at Camp Leatherneck.

Despite the hardships, the young Marine is not complaining about spending another year away from home.

"I love doing what I do," Scarborough said. "It's probably one of the cooler jobs out there to do in the Marine Corps because you can see every aspect of the Marine Corps."

Another set of Scarborough's photos shows American troops and military working dogs clearing huts of enemy weapons. After Marines kicked in a makeshift doorway of one empty mud hut, one dog can be seen climbing into the tiny building to search for IEDs.

"Being out here with these guys ... it's good," Scarborough said. "I'm glad to see that the young guys, even though it may be the last deployment for a lot of these guys ... that they get to see what it's like and get the real-world training."

Very few Americans live in the world that Scarborough has been documenting for the better part of two Afghanistan deployments. While some are still paying attention to the war, many don't even realize there is still an active conflict involving thousands of U.S. boots on the ground.

The same day I spoke to Cpl. Geoffrey Scarborough, the Pentagon sent out a news release about U.S. Army 1st Lt. Jason Togi, who was killed in an Aug. 26 IED attack in eastern Afghanistan. From his fellow troops in Afghanistan to his family and friends in American Samoa, 1st Lt. Togi is being saluted and mourned.

Between now and the scheduled conclusion of America's combat mission in Afghanistan next year, I hope more Americans will choose to live in the real world. It's the very least we can do to honor the brave men and women who give us the luxury of choosing whether or not to care about the war they are still fighting.

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Take Notice

Image courtesy: Sgt. Margaret Taylor

The war in Afghanistan is far from over. While too many at home have moved on, thousands of brave men and women from our cities and towns are still in harm's way.

"The United States is incredibly blessed with generations of uniformed service men and women, inextricably linked to a legacy born in the Declaration of Independence by our forefathers," U.S. Army Brig. Gen. Mike Wehr wrote to The Unknown Soldiers from Afghanistan in August.

Every day, Brig. Gen. Wehr, who has been serving in uniform since the Reagan administration, sees the hard work of U.S. troops up close. He also has great admiration for the Afghan people, who have spent decades living in a war-torn land.

"Today our nation's sons and daughters set the example of selfless service for a generation of Afghans who are also dying for their country," the general wrote.

After more than a decade of war, enemy improvised explosive devices are the biggest threat to U.S. and coalition troops, as well as Afghan men, women and children. On Aug. 6, another American soldier — Spc. Nick Welch, 26, of Mill City, Ore. — died from wounds suffered in an IED attack.

"Our hearts go out to the victims — each came to Afghanistan to make a difference and we are deeply indebted for their sacrifice," Wehr wrote. "As military leaders, we take every casualty seriously, and the IED, in its countless forms, proves to be a challenge."

The general, who also served in both Iraq wars, is determined to make further progress against the IED threat before the conclusion of the U.S.-led combat mission in Afghanistan.

Image courtesy: Ryan McClymony

"We continue to improve our technology, our tactics and our institutional training to leverage information gained from the enemy," Wehr wrote. "We have made vast improvements in all aspects of IED mitigation to include our armored vehicles, our hand-held tools and detection methods, as well as integrating a wide arsenal of electronic tools and counter measures."

Wehr, who grew up in a military family and now calls California home, is closely monitoring and supervising the effort to rid Afghanistan of the IED threat and its horrific consequences.

"Specific for counter-IED, we have over 200 trainers, military and civilian, across the country, teaching everything from basic counter-IED awareness to advanced IED defeat techniques," the general wrote. "Currently, the Afghan forces integrate counter-IED training into all of their basic military and police training courses."

While there have been major issues working with Afghan forces — the most serious being "insider" attacks on U.S. troops — military leaders like Wehr are confident that the country's military will soon be ready to battle the Taliban and al Qaeda on its own.

"The Afghan National Security Forces are already in the lead for 93 percent of all operations, including (counter-IED missions) such as route clearance," Wehr wrote. "I am confident that through continued support from the coalition and international community, through advising and funding beyond 2014, that Afghan forces will increasingly counter the threat."

Wehr cites economic growth, road construction, the establishment of communication networks and education advancement as evidence of progress made by U.S., Afghan and coalition forces.

"Access to education has improved, with more than eight million children in school, of which over three million are girls," he wrote.

Military leaders like Wehr understand how much American blood and treasure have been sacrificed in Afghanistan since the 9/11 attacks.

"The United States is a leader within NATO and will not walk away from Afghanistan upon the completion of our combat mission at the end of 2014," the general wrote. "We have invested greatly in Afghanistan over the past decade, and we are determined to build upon our hard-fought gains."

Almost twelve years after the war began and long since much of the public stopped paying attention, Wehr is amazed by the heroism and sacrifice of the courageous American sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers and mothers who spend many months away from their families to serve during wartime.

"Trust me, you're walking among heroes daily," Brig. Gen. Mike Wehr wrote.

As selfless patriots from our communities continue serving in Afghanistan, it's up to us to notice.

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Image courtesy: Sgt. Robert Yarbrough

Adapt and Overcome

Images courtesy: Terri Dunn-Campbell

Nearly a decade before Lance Cpl. Kielin Dunn raised his right hand and swore to defend the United States, he knew which uniform he wanted to wear.

"He chose the Marine Corps — that path — when there wasn't a war going on," Lance Cpl. Dunn's mother, Terri Dunn-Campbell, told The Unknown Soldiers. "After 9/11, he maintained that position."

Kielin was an 11-year-old elementary school student when the Twin Towers fell. But rather than change his goal of becoming a Marine, he followed the lead of his mom, who was serving in the U.S. Army, and her husband, who was serving in the U.S. Navy.

"As a military family, we adapt and overcome," Terri said.

Kielin joined the JROTC program at his Chesapeake, Va., high school and began studying the culture of Afghanistan.

"He definitely wanted to serve first, prior to any other endeavors," Kielin's mom said.

As always, Kielin was smiling when he finished boot camp.

"I knew first-hand what would happen if Kielin joined the infantry," Terri said. "I knew there was a great chance that he would (get) his orders and be sent to a war zone, whether it was Afghanistan or Iraq."

Terri asked her son about the possibility of going into harm's way.

"He looked at me at the age of 18 and said, 'Mom, I'm not afraid ... I'm not afraid of dying,'" she recounted.

"Should I die, Mom, just remember this," Kielin continued. "(Remember) that I died with honor."

The young Marine soon deployed to Afghanistan, where he quickly became close with his unit.

"He was their source of energy and entertainment as well," Terri said. "He was a fantastic break-dancer."

While Kielin was smaller than some fellow Marines, he excelled in his daily duties.

"Kielin was the sort of guy that if he was good at something, he didn't gloat," his mom said.

Kielin's unit patrolled Afghanistan's volatile Helmand Province, which sometimes prevented him from calling home. Adding to the challenge for Terri and her two younger children was that her husband deployed to Africa just a week after Kielin left for Afghanistan.

When Kielin called home in February 2010, he hesitated to talk about a recent, very violent encounter with the enemy.

"I know that you're in harm's way, and you know that we all love you and that we are thinking of you," Terri told her son. "Your father is also standing up for America, and we're standing up as a family, as we always have."

Before hanging up, Kielin told his mom he loved her.

"It was a somber conversation," Terri said. "I understood in the tone of his voice that he was concerned ... not for him, but more for me."

A few days later, Terri heard from Kielin again on Facebook.

"It's rough over here," the Marine wrote. "But I've got to stay strong for my boys."

On Feb. 18, 2010, Lance Cpl. Kielin Dunn, 19, was killed while supporting combat operations in southern Afghanistan, according to the Pentagon. Terri would later learn what her son chose to do during his final moments.

"He died fighting next to another Marine who was hit," she said. "He could have retreated, but Kielin kept fighting. He went down defending his fellow Marine."

With her husband traveling home from Africa, it was up to Terri to fly to Dover, Del., and meet her son's flag-draped casket. While Kielin's death was devastating and tragic, Terri was determined to adapt and overcome.

"A mom has a job to do," she said.

When Terri takes her family to Section 60 of Arlington National Cemetery to visit Kielin, she sees the resting place of a courageous young man who sacrificed his life for others.

"He gave," Terri said. "And when I say he gave, I mean that he gave in every sense of the word. "He was selfless."

Every day, Terri Dunn-Campbell is inspired to know that there are others still willing to give.

"It is a choice for anyone to raise their right hand and swear to serve this country and to understand they're doing it in a time of war," she said. "It speaks volumes, and it should to any of us as Americans."

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Here Among Us

Image courtesy: Sgt. Corine Lombardo

"I'm not sure what all the hubbub is all about," New York Army National Guard Sgt. Joshua Young reportedly said after receiving the Bronze Star with Valor on July 19. "It happened a long time ago, and I would do it again."

According to his award citation, Sgt. Young's actions on March 16, 2012, were anything but ordinary. Surrounded by about 50 Taliban fighters after a huge explosion in southern Afghanistan, Young braved enemy gunfire to save the life of his badly wounded platoon sergeant, who lost both legs but ultimately survived the attack.

Young, who is from Perinton, N.Y., is just 26 years old. His modesty represents the most remarkable percentage point of our population: the courageous men and women who volunteer to serve in a dangerous post-9/11 world.

"We're extremely proud of Josh and his accomplishments," the hero soldier's mother, Kim Young, told Sgt. Corine Lombardo. "He never really told us a lot about the incident, so we are learning about his actions today."

U.S. Marine Sgt. Matthew Woodall, now 28, did not have to spend two days dodging bullets and crawling through cornfields in July 2011. Instead of fighting the Taliban on their turf, he could have been home enjoying a summer in Paducah, Ky. He chose to serve.

"I was doing my job; I don't think I did anything different than anyone else would," Woodall, who recently left the Marine Corps, told Sgt. Alfred Lopez.

Image courtesy: Cpl. Benjamin Crilly

Woodall's humility became even more apparent after reading his citation for the Silver Star, which he was awarded on Aug. 2.

"(Then-Corporal) Woodall rushed his squad forward when enemy fire wounded the Marine directly in front of him," the citation reads. "Exposed and under a hail of enemy fire, he laid down suppressive fires and shielded the wounded Marine with his body until a (Navy Hospital) Corpsman arrived."

Even though the citation credits Woodall with defeating an enemy attack, the hero Marine is quick to shift attention elsewhere.

"I know that the citation that was read says my name on it, but I'm just an individual Marine," Woodall told the military reporter. "My squad was just amazing."

On Apr. 23, 2011, U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Zachary Kline spent about six hours taking enemy gunfire near Bagram Airfield in Afghanistan while helping rescue two Army pilots involved in a helicopter crash. On July 14, the Albuquerque, N.M., airman received the Silver Star for saving the soldiers' lives.

Image courtesy: Airman 1st Class Christine Griffiths

"It's an honor being recognized for just doing my job," Kline, 33, told Airman 1st Class Christine Griffiths. "I worked with some awesome guys, and (it) was nice being a part of it."

U.S. Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Benny Flores, 30, is from the U.S. territory of Guam. On April 28, 2012, the Navy Hospital Corpsman was in remote southwestern Afghanistan when an improvised explosive device blew up under the vehicle he was riding in.

"With shrapnel wounds to his arms and neck, Hospital Corpsman First Class Flores treated the nearest wounded Marine while he was engaged by enemy small arms fire," Flores' Silver Star citation reads. "He assisted the wounded Marine in maneuvering to a covered position and without hesitation, ran back into the street, exposed to enemy fire, and quickly provided medical assistance to a severely wounded Afghan Uniform Police Officer."

Image courtesy: Petty Officer 3rd Class Monique LaRouche

When Flores received his award on May 3, his thoughts were with the family of a Marine who didn't survive the harrowing attack.

"We lost one guy, Master Sgt. Scott Pruitt, and to this day he's always in my thoughts and prayers," the hero sailor told Cpl. Mark Garcia. "I really wish he were here, maybe not for the ceremony, but just to see his face and him being with his family — his two daughters that he left behind."

I wish some of our nation's so-called celebrities could read the words of Sgt. Joshua Young, Sgt. Matthew Woodall, Staff Sgt. Zachary Kline and Petty Officer 1st Class Benny Flores. Instead of being consumed with their own popularity, their first instinct is to salute others.

You won't find most of America's true celebrities in Hollywood. They're in communities all around us. The next time you see a U.S. service member or veteran, shake their hand and say thanks.

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Every Day is a Good Day

Images courtesy: Barfield family

Whenever U.S. Marine Lance Cpl. Jason Barfield called his parents from Afghanistan, he had the same message.

"We'd ask him how things were going over there and he'd say 'every day is a good day,'" Lance Cpl. Barfield's father, Ray Barfield, told The Unknown Soldiers. "He truly lived that motto."

As a young boy growing up in Alabama, Jason embraced each day with a fervor that took even his mother by surprise.

"I used to have to watch him in stores because he would just talk to everyone," Kelli Barfield said. "He never had a fear of being in front of others ... he never had a fear of people."

From a young age, Jason was guided by the compassion he felt for others. After a close friend's mother was murdered when Jason was in third grade, he started raising funds to help the child's family.

"He loved everybody," Kelli said.

Upon graduating from high school in Ashford, Ala., Jason knew he wanted to join the military. After eventually choosing the Marine Corps, the young recruit pledged to do everything in his power to defend America.

"He said 'I want to be a part of the best ... I want to make a difference,'" Jason's mom said. "From that day forward, he never looked back."

In September 2011 — ten years after the 9/11 attacks — Jason would deploy to Afghanistan for the first time. But before he left, his dad sat him down for what Ray called "the talk." While the topic of discussion was unthinkable, Ray asked his son to share his final wishes.

"We started talking about it a little before I said 'Jason, I can't talk about this anymore ... you're coming back,'" Ray said.

Unfazed, Jason wrote down instructions for his funeral and gave the piece of paper to his dad.

"Jason was like an old soul in a young body," his father said.

The night before deploying, Jason's roommate heard him crying.

"They all just assumed he was nervous about the deployment," Kelli said. "But when (Jason's roommate) got to the room, it had nothing to with him being scared about being over there."

Jason wasn't worried about himself.

"He was nervous about making a mistake and getting one of his guys killed," Jason's mom said. "It wasn't all about him ... it was about keeping the others safe."

In Afghanistan, Jason displayed the same concern for others that his mom first noticed when he was younger.

"He wanted to boost everyone's morale," Kelli said. "He even started learning the language so he could barter with the Afghanis for food for his (fellow Marines)."

In the early morning hours of Oct. 23, 2011, Jason called home.

"I just want you to know how much I love you, mom," the Marine said.

"Dad, I just want to give you a big old hug," Jason also said. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I just want you to know."

The next day, the Marine's devastated father reached into his wallet and retrieved the list of his son's final wishes. After embracing every day for 22 years, Jason's life had ended with an ultimate sacrifice.

According to the Pentagon, Lance Cpl. Jason Barfield was killed in Afghanistan's Helmand Province on Oct. 24, 2011. The fallen Marine's parents said Jason alerted his platoon to a potential threat before kneeling on top of an improvised explosive device. While Jason died instantly, everyone else on the patrol survived.

When Ray and Kelli later met the seven brave Marines who served with Jason during his final moments, they shared a singular message.

"If it had not been for his actions that morning, they would not be alive today," Jason's grieving father said.

On what would have been his 24th birthday, Jason was posthumously awarded the Bronze Star with Valor. But more important than any medal, his parents said, is the legacy their son left behind for his 12-year-old sister.

"Never forget who you are," Kelli tells her daughter. "Strive each day to be a better person."

Every day is a good day. If we strive to follow the example of Lance Cpl. Jason Barfield, each day will be even better.

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM

Note: This column was edited on Aug. 9 at 3:30 p.m. EST

Cruel Summer

Image courtesy: U.S. Air Force/David Tucker

For most Americans, summer is a time for vacations, barbeques and beaches. For the fraction of one percent that's still shouldering the heaviest burdens of America's longest war, summer is a time for sacrifice.

"First there was a shock, and then I felt numb," Sonja Stoeckli, mother of U.S. Army Spc. Kyle Stoeckli, said. "It's even physical ... it's a physical pain that's stabbing inside of my heart."

Before Sonja's 21-year-old son left for Afghanistan late last year, he got two tattoos. The first was on his heart.

"It says 'I sustain myself with the love of my family and thrive off the support of my friends,'" Spc. Stoeckli's mother said.

Since he was a little boy, Kyle and the Army always seemed like a logical fit.

"He always liked the military," Sonja said. "His real decision was when he came out of high school ... that's when he said 'I definitely want to join the Army.'"

After Kyle announced his intention to enlist, his mother's relatives, who live in Switzerland, asked Sonja why she didn't try to talk her son out of his decision.

"That's his passion, that's what he wants, and that's his life," she said. "That was his will: to go into the Army and serve for America."

Kyle, who grew up in Chesterfield County, Va., near Richmond, spent time with his mom, dad, and older sister before deploying to Afghanistan. When he left, the young soldier was confident in his ability to complete a very difficult mission.

"He just knew he had a job to do and he did it," Kyle's mother said. "He didn't hesitate at all."

Every two or three weeks, Kyle would call his mom with enthusiastic updates about the accomplishments of his unit while patrolling volatile southern Afghanistan.

"He was soldier of the month in either February or March because (his commanders noted) what a positive outlook he had," Sonja said. "His smile and his positivity were contagious throughout the platoon."

On May 30, Kyle called home and gave his mom the best news that any parent with a son or daughter at war can possibly hear. In just a few days, the platoon would pack up and leave Afghanistan.

"He was so happy," the soldier's mom said. "He said, 'We're coming home.'"

Two days later, Sonja was standing across from two Army officers with Kyle's father. They informed both parents that their son was dead.

"I just couldn't breathe anymore. ... I broke down," she said. "Then, of course, we had to call our daughter too, which I knew would be horrible."

According to the Department of Defense, Spc. Kyle Stoeckli was killed on June 1 by an improvised explosive device planted by enemy fighters. The Fort Bliss, Texas-based soldier was posthumously awarded the Bronze Star for the courage he displayed in combat.

"He saved a lot of lives," Sonja said. "There was one soldier at Fort Bliss who said Kyle went beyond his fears and did what he had to do."

Sonja, who spoke to The Unknown Soldiers six weeks after Kyle's death, was overwhelmed with gratitude for the support her family has received.

"In every way, it was enormous," she said. "It felt like Kyle brought the whole community together."

The Kyle P. Stoeckli Memorial Scholarship Fund has already been established to carry on the soldier's selfless legacy.

"I want people to remember him as a really charismatic, loving guy who always smiled and always brought the smiles out on everybody's faces," Sonja said.

Hopefully, as many Americans enjoy their summers, the enormous sacrifices of the brave men and women still serving in Afghanistan will stop fading into the sunset.

"The reality, the longing and the pain is really expanding," Kyle's grieving mother said. "Once all the crowds and (events) are over, that's when the real awareness and the real pain sets in."

Spc. Kyle Stoeckli's second tattoo was a Bible verse: John 15:13. In many ways, it represents the heroism of our troops and their families.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends," the tattooed verse said.

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM

Images courtesy: Stoeckli family

Josh's Dog

Images courtesy: Tammie Ashley

Before Sgt. Joshua Ashley left for his first combat deployment, his thoughts weren't centered on his own safety. The Marine K-9 handler was particularly concerned about his military working dog, Sirius.

"Josh loved his dog," Sgt. Ashley's mother, Tammie, told The Unknown Soldiers. "He had told his oldest brother that if anything ever happened to Sirius, he didn't think he could deal with it."

The affinity Josh had for the German Shepherd became clear shortly before they left for Afghanistan's rugged, war-torn landscape.

"I was able to meet Sirius before they deployed," Josh's mom said. "You could see the bond between them."

Since Josh was a young boy growing up in Rancho Cucamonga, Calif., he demonstrated many of the qualities championed by the Marine Corps, including defending the defenseless.

"If there were little kids being (bullied) on the bus, he would stick up for them," Tammie said. "He was always a protector."

As a 12-year-old, Josh watched the horrors of 9/11 unfold on live television, and he listened to his mom call several friends who narrowly escaped the World Trade Center's collapsing towers.

"It was kind of personal to us, since we knew people who were in the buildings," she said.

Josh resolved to dedicate his life to serving others, first in the military and ultimately as a police officer. But with America at war, Tammie was worried about her son ending up on a perilous, faraway battlefield.

"I made him go to one year of college to make sure (the military) was what he wanted to do," she said.

After completing his freshman year, Josh told his mom, dad and brothers that he was joining the Marines.

"His goal in the Marine Corps was to deploy," Josh's mom said. "He didn't tell me how dangerous his job was."

As a K-9 handler, Josh was trained to lead searches for improvised explosive devices with a military working dog. Josh arrived in Afghanistan on May 27, 2012 — his 23rd birthday — and started going on missions with Sirius and members of the Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command.

"He was so excited at that point," the Marine's mom said. "He was ecstatic."

Two months into the deployment, Josh called home and told his mom that he planned to re-enlist in the Marine Corps. But upon his return from Afghanistan, Josh said he would likely start a new job that wouldn't include his trusted dog.

"In his position, he may not be able to have Sirius," Tammie said. "He wanted to adopt him, and asked if I would take him."

Tammie knew how much her son worried about Sirius, and did not hesitate in agreeing to care for her son's dog until Josh was eventually able to take over.

A few days later, Josh and Sirius left for a dangerous assignment in Afghanistan's volatile Helmand province, where so many U.S. troops have served and sacrificed during almost 12 years of war.

"He volunteered for this mission," Tammie said. "He was a go-getter and he always volunteered for everything."

Josh's unit and several Afghans were crossing a waterway on a windy night when Sirius jumped to the other side.

"Josh made sure Sirius got over, thankfully," the Marine's mother said. "And then Josh jumped over and hit it."

The July 19, 2012, IED explosion killed Sgt. Joshua Ashley. His beloved dog survived.

"They tested (Sirius) after," Tammie said. "At first, they could tell he knew something had happened."

More than a year after Josh's death, Tammie still deeply mourns the loss of her son. But she's also grateful for the support of her California community, as well as the Marine Corps, which posthumously awarded the Bronze Star with Valor to Josh on July 20.

"He's had buddies join the military because they were so proud of him," she said. "He's been my hero since he was born."

Tammie Ashley wants Americans to remember that brave volunteer warriors are still in harm's way. Sirius, the courageous dog that Tammie plans to adopt, is one of them.

"He's still an active K-9 and he's with one of Josh's good friends," she said. "But (the Marine) doesn't consider (Sirius) his dog. It's Josh's dog."

COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM

Image courtesy: Cpl. Mark Garcia